A Bittersweet Holiday

Mother's Day has usually been a bittersweet day for me. Not so much when I was in my twenties when I attended various singles ward. I've never married or had children, but I have been a part of children's lives. I have nephews and nieces, some have been adopted by the heart. Usually going to church on Mother's Day hasn't been too bad. I haven't always taken the customary flower or treat. I once passed up some chocolate because a member of the bishopric said there were treats for all the mothers just outside the chapel doors. I think that the bishop's counselor meant well and he was probably thinking "all women" when he said "all mothers". I wasn't the only woman that day who skipped the chocolate. There were a few mothers who did likewise and not because they were allergic to chocolate or on diets.

Some Mother's Days at church have been touching. My first year in a new Ward, one young girl handed me a geranium as I walked out of Relief Society. She didn't know my status and she didn't care if I was a mom or not. She looked at me as she handed me the flower and that meant a lot to me. And last year, one of young girls I taught in Primary was determined to give me a brownie. Just because I was one of her teachers. Just moments before, I saw her determination when she gave a brownie to her next door neighbor.

After my mom passed a few years ago, celebrating Mother's Day became more bittersweet. There was just no way my mom would enjoy any kind of chocolate. Brownies included. I missed giving Mom a gift. So for the first Mother's Day, I did my usual and gave my sisters, biological and heart adopted,  a Mother's Day booklet. It was a tradition I started after I left the single wards. My first year was okay, but the next year I found myself in Primary. As usual, the children were singing a few songs in Sacrament Meeting. One of the songs that was chosen was "Mother, Tell Me A Story" by Janice Kapp Perry. When the children sang "tell me of heaven", I would cry inside. I wished my mom could tell me about heaven. And when we practiced the song this year, I could feel my mom singing the second verse, even though my mouth was singing those words. Like last year, I won't be joining the other Primary teachers on the stand this year. It's still too emotional, but the song is beautiful, so I find myself listening to it on YouTube. "Mother, Tell Me A Story" is a bittersweet comforting lullaby to me. I am reminded of the love that my mom has for me and that through all my trials that I have had since she has left, my mom has been there for me. She watches over me each night as I sleep. 

Moms

In past year, I have gotten quite a bit of mothering from my sisters. I think because they are mothers, it just comes naturally to extend their mothering to me. Even on her own birthday, my younger sister was treating her daughter-in-law, granddaughter and me when we went to the zoo. Laura is buying lunch and paying our admission, quite oblivious to the fact that it is her birthday. I am glad her husband reminded her when we went out to dinner that night and when some of the best chocolate cake was delivered to the house. Otherwise, I think Laura would have forgotten her birthday just like my Mom would do.
Yes, they take after my mom or I should say our mom. It is what our mom did; she looked after us and extended her mothering to others and I find my sisters doing the same. My mom thought of others and she passed that on to us. Even before my mom got sick, my older sister was looking out for her siblings' welfare. Because of her own fight with cancer, Mary was able to help me understand what Mom was going thru 2012. And Laura stayed with Mom during her final days in Idaho and was there for Mom fought her battle in Washington. Laura took my place as the assigned caregiver. Mary eased my guilt by telling me that Laura was about the only sibling who was in a position to be Mom's caregiver.  Both Mary and I work full-time.
Yes, I am in debt to my sisters, who have been a mom to me throughout my life. It was Mary who talk me to pray. It was Laura who at six months, taught me about courage as she fought for her life.
And I am even in greater debt to our mom who showed us the way. Thanks, Mom for everything you have done for us, your children, your family and countless others. Your legacy will live on by those you touched.

A Mother's Heart

This morning I logged on to Facebook, I saw my friend, Jeannie’s post that made me pause when she wrote “Whether you have given birth, adopted, nuture the neighborhood children, are a step mom....if you have a Mother's Heart you are a Mother.” I thanked her for posting this, because it reminded me of my Aunt Gladys, who never had the chance to be a mother, but has loved and cared for her neices and nephews. This post prompted me to post something on my wall or timeline. ”To all the Aunties out there. Happy Mother's Day. I'm fortunate to have had my Aunt Gladys who never got the chance to raise a child of her own, but always looks after her nieces and nephews. She thinks of us in our times of need. She is there for us even when our moms are there for us too. Thanks for setting example of great aunthood, Gladys.”

Like Jeannie said Aunt Gladys has a Mother’s Heart. When Jay and I were buying our condo, she gave us words of wisdom. Aunt Gladys encourages us to do temple work by sharing her research with her neices and nephews. She was heart broken when our cousin, Paul suddenly died this spring. Aunt Gladys makes an effort to keep in touch with all (I hope) nephews and nieces. My brothers and I usually get a Christmas gift from her. I doubt we are the only ones who are remember at Christmas. We are the children she shares with our parents. Her example has taught me how to reach to my neices and nephews. Aunt Gladys lets me know that Mother’s Day isn’t just for Mothers who raised children, but all women who have cared for the children who have passed thru their lives. As Jeannie said “....if you have a Mother's Heart you are a Mother.”
*The picture is the brownie that all the woman in my ward got today. I believe that most women have a Mother's Heart* 

Thoughts on Mother's Day

Years ago, I learned in church that Mother’s Day was started by a single woman, who never married or had children. I believe the woman started Mother’s Day as way on honoring not only her mother, but all mothers. Being a single person, who has never married, this meant a lot to me. Even though I have no children, I can celebrate Mother’s day. It isn’t about being honored as a Mom, but taking a day to remember and honor our mothers, giving thanks for a hard job well done.
As I sat in sacrament meeting today, I listened to the graduating high school seniors speak of their moms. They all spoke of how their moms loved them and the impact they have had on their lives. After the church meetings were over, it was tender to see children carrying flowers. I wonder if some moms were presented with multiple flowers, for young children especially like to show their moms gratitude. One boy hid the flower he selected behind his back as he presented it to his mom.
On Facebook, quite a few people were posting their mother’s pictures as their profile picture. Even some the men got into the spirit. Someone on Facebook thought it would be a way to honor all the beautiful mothers. As the week went by, more of my friends posted their mother’s pictures. It was touching to see all the various pictures. One of my Facebook friends who posted her mom’s picture had lost her mother a few years back. It was good to see Sister Walker’s friendly face smiling at me from Facebook. One friend commented that she had spent the afternoon and would stay overnight with her aged mother. She ended her post feeling as if she was in the presence of an angel. I have met Grandma Bea, who is indeed an angel that has cared for and lifted those around her. Her daughters have followed her example and forwarding her legacy to their children and grandchildren. When I think of all the moms I’ve known, one of my favorite quotes from Abraham Lincoln comes to mind.

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother."

My Mom

A few weeks ago, Mom called and told me to get her gift certificates from her favorite restaurant, JB’s. I realized after what Laura,my younger sister's mother-in-law told my older sister, Mary and me that my mom probably didn’t want any more processions, so that is why she got a gift certificate for her 85th birthday. It was something she could use and it wouldn’t create clutter in her home.
This week, one of my Facebook friends posted a picture of her mom as her profile picture. Apparently someone had requested people post their mom’s picture as a way to honor all Moms on Mother’s day. So I changed my profile to a picture of Mom before she met Dad. Soon, my older sister posted a picture of Mom when she was a young mom. Included in the picture was my grandma, my great grandma (which I don’t think I ever met) and Mary as a baby. My mom is really big into four generation pictures. My younger sister, Laura posted a picture of Mom with her son, Skylar. It is kind of cool to see the progression of Mom from a young mom to a great-grandma.
My mom is now single and has been for 30 plus years. And she still plugs away every day, even if she had to slow down quite a bit. Mom has that strength that I am convinced she learned from her mom. When I think of my grandma, I reminded not only of her strength, but her kindness too. I realize what a wonderful legacy I have.