Fighting the Good Fight

January 18, 2015

Dear Sister Pugh,

I was just thinking about the past few months. It has been hard, but I’m trying to maintain a positive attitude. After all, I really don’t want to enjoy my misery. It is just too depressing and besides, there’s got to be an exit somewhere. Quite a bit, I find myself telling me that things will work out, even though I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I’m hoping for the best, but realizing I should prepare for the worst.

Ten years ago on the 11th, I left Blue Cross for the last time as an employee. It was end of lousy year, but the beginning of a different uncertainty. In the previous months, I had found myself hoping against hope. Maybe I wouldn't lose my job as my bosses had predicted was one of those thought going thru my mind. I never really felt their support in 2004 as I looked at despair in the face. But on that January day as I walked out to the parking lot for the final time, I was relieved to leave that hopelessness behind. Yes, I was facing uncertainty, because I didn't know where or when I would be working again. But like recent events, I told myself that things would work out. Life would return to normal.

So with new trial I’m facing; I find myself relying on hope again. I’m just experiencing a few bumps on my journey thru life right now.  I don’t know what will happen; I don’t when doctor visits will take a vacation or if my relationship with the pharmacy will move down a level or up a level. But I will be okay; I will survive. If I could skip the last few months, I would. But I realize I am growing from this experience. I have experience kindness, gratitude, support and other things I don’t realize I've learned. I doubt I would trade that in for the easy life.

I've got my Sisterhood Support Team to buoy me up. None of us can fight the battle alone and none of us are exempt from trials. Our battles might differ, but God is not going to give us more than each of us can handle. To some, it may seem like my battle is nothing, to others, it may seem like it is hard. I may look at others and think what they are going thru is harder than what I am going thru and some, I think – “really, you are complaining about that?” But I have to realize that to them it is a big deal.

Elsa, I’m going to fine, despite what may come. God has not forsaken me nor will He. Jesus Christ, my elder brother is carrying me thru this storm and that is why I will survive. And that is why, in the past, present and future, you have, are and will be able to endure your trials. Jesus Christ is there for you, for me, for everyone. Like Paul tells Timothy, you have, are and will “fight the good fight”. You have, are and will conquer like me, your mom and those before you have done.

Sister Jackson

The meme before the Proverbs 3:5-6 is difficult to read . It reads: “The miracle is this: that you will rise in the morning and be able to see again the startling beauty of the day.”― William Kent Krueger, Ordinary Grace