Day of the Dead - post 3

Jay and I headed to the Magic Valley on Halloween to pick up a few things from the house. Since Day of the Dead follows Halloween, I decided to stop in at Dollar Tree to see what I could decorate Mom’s grave with. There was Halloween stuff, but not any for Day of the Dead. But I did manage to find something. When we got to the cemetery, there were graves decorated with Jack-o-lanterns and the usual flowers. It wasn't like Memorial Day, when cemetery is almost a parking lot or has the feel of a local park.

I took my sack of recent purchases and pulled out the glow stick and attached the butterfly that was included in the package. I don't know if Mom liked butterflies, but when I see something that resembles one, I think of Mom. I'm reminded of her love for me and that she still watches over me.

I wasn't sure if the glow stick would blow away, so I put it back in the bag. I had already stuck some silk flowers in ground, so I took the second group of silk flowers out. I laid those down on the grave stone. Mom's favorite color was yellow and her second favorite was blue. I figured Mom would like these yellow daisies, even though they were fake. Before I left I stuck the flowers in the ground on the opposite side of the grave stone.

Jay and I came back the next day. It was threatening to rain, but I decided to leave the butterfly glow stick on Mom's grave. I found a pumpkin candy bowl in the basement, so I decided to leave it behind while Jay and I went to church. As we were leaving the cemetery, I noticed another family visiting a grave of a loved one. While we were at church, the heavens opened and it rained, but not like it would in Seattle. I thought the bowl would be full, but there wasn't even a quarter inch of water in the bowl. I pulled everything out and stuffed it back in the sack. I hope Mom didn't mine, but I'd like to use the glow stick in next year's Light The Night walk and besides there is Mother's Day and of course, Memorial Day.

The Best Christmases

Yes, there is a Santa Claus, but he doesn't live at the North Pole or wear a red suit. One Christmas Eve when I was six or seven, the furnace in our house quit working. I am sure my mom alerted the furnace people, but being a semi-holiday or a busy day, help did not arrive that day. Mom took all five and half of us children into town; not exactly a good idea on one of the busiest shopping days of the year. My dad was probably at work at the sugar factory in Paul or sleeping because he sometimes worked the graveyard shift. My mom was solo as she kept track of five children from the ages of five to twelve. When we got home, Mom may have fed us a meal, but she did put us to bed early that night, because the house was so cold. I remember waking up later and hearing noises in the kitchen. My older sister told me it was Santa and not to peek. When we woke up the next morning to open our presents, the house was nice and warm. I learned later that it wasn't Santa in a red suit, but it was Santa in worker’s uniform who fixed the furnace late on Christmas Eve.

*******

It wasn't Christmas, but at another time of year when a Secret Santa knocked on our doors. The sun had gone down and we were still up, so it wasn't summer. Most of us, who were still living at home, were in the kitchen when we heard a knock on the door. One of my brothers answered the door and no one was there except a box of groceries. My brother didn't see anyone and I’m not sure if a car or truck went by our place before or after the knock. We were so busy talking with each other, that none of heard any noise before the knock. I can’t remember if we were in dire straits or not, because my parents didn't complain about their circumstances. But a neighbor was kind enough to think of our family and make an effort to ease our burdens. It is just the way the people of Paul, Idaho are – always looking out for each other and following our Savior’s example. I don’t think we ever found out who did this kind deed and I am kind of glad I still don’t know who it was. Someone was kind enough to be a Secret Santa when it wasn't the season to be and that is all that matters.

*******

Every morning my first duty of the day was to open the mail. Mostly it was premium checks, because businesses wanted their employees to be covered if they went to the doctor for anything and everything or needed their drugs. One December morning, I came across a letter addressed to Santa. (There was a man named Santa Claus who had a similar PO Box as Blue Cross.) I read it and for some odd reason was touched by it. The 10 year girl didn't want much, just some clothes and a Barbie. I put the letter aside until Ms. Garcia came back to check on me. I showed her the letter, she laughed and then she showed it to Terri, our boss. Eventually, Peggy got a hold of it and like me she was touched by the letter and showed it to her husband, who was the mail room supervisor. He was inspired to contact the young girl’s family. And it was a good thing, because the girl had siblings. While I don’t remember what the family’s circumstances; it wasn't good. Before I knew it, the whole company was involved. Well, those who worked on Parley’s Way. Just before Christmas a big package was sent to Sacramento California. This Sub for Santa even got mentioned by Rolly and Wells in Salt Lake Tribune. (I don’t know how they found out, but someone ratted on us.) So glad that Peggy got a hold of that letter, because it ended being of one of my better Christmases.

*******

My niece loves her Aunties and her Uncles. And her Mom too. I don’t know how we found out how my niece was a recipient of a Sub for Santa project or who took charges. My sister’s youngest granddaughter was still a baby when we decided to do a Sub for Santa, but we all picked a family member of my niece’s. I picked her oldest daughter because I had a dear friend the same age. My dear friend shopped with me at WalMart and even online to find the perfect outfit and shoes for my niece’s daughter. My younger sister picked the middle daughter, because she babysat her grand niece quite a bit. Someone got my niece’s husband and my brother in California got the baby daughter. I’m not even sure who shopped for my niece. But it was probably the best Christmas my siblings and I had in a long time. Instead of drawing names for each other, we drew the names of my niece’s family. Somehow, it made the Christmas season brighter for us. And hopefully, for our niece too.

Remembering Mom

October 16, 2012

Kindness -pay it forward.  This is Tracina my niece being kind to my Mom just after Mom arrived in Washington. I'm pretty sure my Mom set that example for us to follow. And I wouldn't be surprised that my Dad did too. He was a kind soul too.


April 21, 2014

I look at my favorite picture of my mom. She isn't at her most beautiful; heck, she isn't even wearing her teeth and she has plastic tubing across her face. Before my mom got cancer, I doubt she would have allowed Mary to take a picture like that.
What I like most about the picture is her smile. She is happy, even though she is in the hospital fighting cancer. My older sister took the picture a week before she died, when she had a good weekend. Somehow that smile gave me hope that things would be fine.
That is why I keep it where I can look at it everyday. Sometimes I talk to the picture and my mom smiles at everything I say. My mom's smile gives me courage to face the trials; she is laughing when I can't believe my younger sister is a grandma and she listens. Granted it is only a picture, but the pictures tells me that my mom loves me still and the rest of my family too.


June 12, 2014

She is a young girl who grew up to be nice old lady. She had to grow old because there were so many hearts to touch. Because in her twilight years, there were great-grandchildren and neighbors who needed to know of her goodness.


June 14, 2014

My mom taught mostly by example, even though she may not have been aware that she was doing this. My grandpa was spending the summer with my mom when this picture was taken. My grandma had passed shortly after my dad passed and let's face it; he could no longer be on his own, so my mom and her siblings took turns taking care of him, until he was able to go to a care center in the Denver area. When my brother, Mike was no longer able to care of my mom on his own, my youngest sister, Laura came to help him. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, Laura took Mom back to Washington state,where she could take better care of Mom.  It is true that what goes around comes around and in this case, it was a good thing.


June 24, 2014

This picture was taken soon after my mom arrived in Seattle. Steven, my brother flew into Seattle for the weekend. He had been vacationing with his family in St. George. Mary and Laura drove from Idaho (in Mom's car) so they could better provide for my mom. When the weekend was over, Steven drove Mom's car back to Salt Lake. The car has been a resident of Utah since then.

I included this scripture from Joshua, because Mom chose to be strong and of good courage. It had been a Young Women's theme a few years back and I sent my mom a plaque with those words. Taking care of Mike required being strong and being of good courage. 

In the picture, I see my mom's hand reaching for Steven's hand. Even though she was weary from a chemo treatment and traveling, she still cared about her children. Mom knew she wasn't going back to Idaho, but she chose to be grateful, which I think took courage and besides, she was a strong woman to begin with. Mom got this strength and courage from her mom and it helped her in her last days.

July 19, 2014

In 1988, Mom served a church service mission at the the Family History Library. She mostly worked in the Church Office Building east of Temple Square. Originally it was a 6 month service, which ended up being extended to 18 months. For the first six months (give or take a month) I lived with her. Then she moved closer to the Church Office Building and lived with Elizabeth for the remainder of her mission. She and Elizabeth became good friends. Mom even visited upstate New York where Elizabeth lived. Mom seemed to be the happiest while she was serving on her mission. She did enjoy serving and she enjoy doing genealogy work. Mom never did serve another mission because after she left, the church discontinued church service missions. If she wanted to go on another mission; it would have been a regular proselyting mission like John, Steven and Jay did. She would not have had a say in where she served. But she continued doing her family history and helped other do theirs. 

July 24, 2014

Shortly after my parents married, they were the parade marshals for the Pioneer Parade in Manassa, Colorado. When I saw this picture a few years ago, my mom said that my dad wasn't too thrilled about dressing up as Brigham Young. I guess fake beards aren't too comfortable. I don't which wife my mom was suppose to be, but she looks like she is happy to be apart of the parade. Maybe it is because she was honoring her ancestors who crossed the plains for a better life in the west.

July 26, 2014

They are together again. Sisters. I never knew my aunt Verla; she died of polio shortly after my parents were married. I am glad that my mom spoke of her and that my aunts did also. When my mom died, I kept thinking she was the first of her siblings to pass on, but then I remembered Verla. I think my grandma got to hug my mom first, because well, Grandma Boice is a mom. Or maybe it was my dad. You know how husbands are. But I am sure Verla was there along with other loved ones (like my dad's parents) to greet my mom. I am glad my mom had family there when she returned home. 

July 28, 2014

My mom and her sisters at the Vernal Temple. Mom loved going to the temple, especially if included family. She loved her sisters also (and her brothers, too). Mom was always looking out for them and other family members. Even her in-laws. I guess that is why I am accused of thinking of others, my mom set a good example for me to follow.

If you think that is more like a chapel (or church building) than a temple, well, the Vernal Temple used to be the Vernal Tabernacle.

August 17, 2014

Eleven years ago in September I went with my mom and her sister Gladys to Nauvoo, Illinois. We visited museums and such along the way and after we left Nauvoo. My mom was just glad to be along for the ride. The picture above was taken the morning we left Nauvoo for Missouri.

Before we left for the trip, I sent for brochures so I could scout out sites to see. In the brochure for Iowa, I saw something about the Goldenrod School and that it was the birthplace of 4-H. I had to visit this. Mom got some of her children involved in 4-H. Mary learned how to sew; I learned how to bake cookies, cakes, cook outdoor and fix sandwiches. Steven raised sheep for 4-H and he managed to learn to bake chocolate chip cookies. 

In the Nauvoo Visitors Center, there is garden honoring women. In it are several statutes of what women do. I took this picture because I like to learn; something my mom encouraged us to do. All seven of us children have had some post-secondary education. My parents paid for my education and probably my siblings also, which wasn't easy for them as my dad was a farmer. After I got my associate from Ricks College, I moved to Salt Lake. After four years or so of being in the workforce, I desired to return to school. I had problems saving up for tuition, so I asked my widowed mother for help. She was able to help out my first two or three quarters at University of Utah. I think it hurt her to tell me she couldn't help out anymore, even though I was expected to pay her back. Not wanting to quit, I turned to financial aid department to continue my education. Even though she couldn't help me financially for most of education at the U, she still supported me in my quest for a degree.

My mom loved to quilt. She made quilts for my sisters when they got married. She tied quite a few quilts as I was growing up. Mom even managed to make a few quilts for her grandchildren. I eventually did get a quilt of my own. Mom made a quilt for her sister, Maevonne when she got cancer. When Mom got cancer, Maevonne wished that she could have done the same.

I also chose this picture, because Aunt Gladys is helping Mom get around. I appreciate the example that Mom is setting. She was letting her sister be charitable. Mom knew that she couldn't do everything on her own. Sometimes we need help, even if it means swallowing our pride. Mom was being humble.

I think the highlight of visiting Nauvoo was the Fudge Factory. It was so good we went twice. I even sent my nephew, Isaac some fudge from there, because his birthday was the day we left Nauvoo. Mom had the blonde fudge, which she made for us quite a bit growing up. I had one of the chocolate fudges. (Mom also made chocolate fudge.) At the funeral, one of speakers spoke of Mom's love for chocolate. And I had no clue that she loved chocolate as much as I did. It was a pleasant surprise. This past Memorial Day, I bought my brothers a chocolate bar to enjoy while we visited her grave. I hope she didn't mind that we ate chocolate in front of her.

Haun's Mill is important in LDS Church History and my family history I share with my mom. Amanda Barnes Smith is one of our great-grandmas, who lost her first husband at Haun's Mill. I learned of Amanda from my mom and of course, church. Amanda was strong person and her legacy of strength carries on through generations of women who followed her, including my Grandma Boice and my mom. Slade Barnes woman persevere. 

This is the flag that flies at the Harry S. Truman Presidential Library in Independence, Missouri. While touring the library, I learned quite a bit about the events that happened while Mom was a young woman. Even though Mom was staunch Republican, she enjoyed visiting the library of a famous Democrat. I was glad for the example she set that day. Putting aside her difference.

The flag also reminds me how serious Mom took elections. She voted in the primaries and general elections. When I voted in my first primary elections, my mom was there guiding me. No, she didn't tell me how to vote, but she let me know how important it was.

And my mom served her country; not in the armed forces. She would help out neighbors when asked and she gave blood. Volunteering helps keep cost down and sometimes that keeps the taxes we pay less.

This is the Catholic Church in Victoria, Kansas. I am convinced it is as big as the Cathedral of the Madeline in Salt Lake City. This church is known as the Cathedral of the Plains, probably because one can see from the freeway long before the exit for Victoria. When I looked at this picture today, I was reminded of our neighbors who were Catholic and other faiths. Mom didn't let that stop her from be neighborly. Mom was kind to everyone.


September 1, 2014

A few years ago in August, I rode the Heber Valley Railroad with Mom, Mary and Debbie (Mary's childhood best friend). We had the opportunity of riding inside one of the cars or outside in open-air car. Mom opted for outside and stayed there the whole time. She didn't even venture to the dining car. It was a little stuffy inside; I only sat there long enough to have my picture taken. Besides being a little stuffy, the seats weren't that comfortable. Yeah, I don't blame my mom for sitting out in the open air car the whole time. And besides the view was much better.

As the train chugged toward Bridal Veil Falls, we learned that Mom had rode a similar train in Colorado when she grew up. She  also traveled by train from California to Colorado as a young adult; not sure if it was steam engine like the one pictured here. It could have been more like the modern day Amtrak that I rode in the 1980's. It was cool to learn more about Mom's younger days as she didn't talk much about those years while she was alive.

September 4, 2014

My niece, Tracina included this poem in a brochure that she made for Mom's funeral. The words comforted me then and still do. Mom had been suffering for most of the summer; she had been losing weight and plain just not feeling well. About a month before Mom died, she was diagnosed with stage four cancer. She fought the good fight and then God knew she needed rest and she was welcomed home. I miss Mom, but don't want to wish her back to fight that battle.

September 7, 2014

She was being of good cheer. Although I wouldn't be surprised that Marianna was getting rid of some wiggles. I don't think Mom minded that Marianna was trying to bring cheer to a somber crowd. We all need something to smile about and she, Bella and Cielo (Laura's new granddaughter) were doing that- each in their own way.

I like this picture because while Bella and Vanessa are being perfect for the camera, Grandma Jackson and Marinna are chatting away. I like to think that they are bonding; after all they share a name.

September 9, 2014

Jay is wearing a suit. Usually it is a shirt, tie and pants from the suit for church. I don't know about Steven, but John usually wears a suit to church. Maybe it was being a pallbearer that Jay wore a suit, but I also think that Jay was honoring Mom as he pulled his suit jacket outof the closet. All the pallbearers wore their best to show respect to Mom.

September 12, 2014 (a Friday) 

I discovered this quote at the end of a episode of "Criminal Minds". It had bit of a Halloween theme, but it also had a bit of "Day of the Dead" theme. 

I was at the airport that Friday, September 14th, when my sister, Mary called to tell me that Mom has passed. I did my best not to create a scene; but to stay collected. After all, who wants to see someone have a meltdown in such a public and crowded place. As I waited to board, I couldn't understand why I could not feel my dad's presence. I was able to sense his presence before in my times of need. I got a little ticked off at Dad. But then as I stood in line to board the plane, I felt my mom's presence. She was there to comfort me. I sensed her most of the flight, but not when I got to Seattle. I imagine she left me to comfort my brothers in their time of need. And besides, she knew I was in the company of my sisters and their families. 

Death may ended my parents' lives, but it hasn't ended my relationship with them. Everyday as I get ready for work or bed, I see my mom's picture of her smiling and I am comforted. She loves me still, just like my dad does.

Moms

In past year, I have gotten quite a bit of mothering from my sisters. I think because they are mothers, it just comes naturally to extend their mothering to me. Even on her own birthday, my younger sister was treating her daughter-in-law, granddaughter and me when we went to the zoo. Laura is buying lunch and paying our admission, quite oblivious to the fact that it is her birthday. I am glad her husband reminded her when we went out to dinner that night and when some of the best chocolate cake was delivered to the house. Otherwise, I think Laura would have forgotten her birthday just like my Mom would do.
Yes, they take after my mom or I should say our mom. It is what our mom did; she looked after us and extended her mothering to others and I find my sisters doing the same. My mom thought of others and she passed that on to us. Even before my mom got sick, my older sister was looking out for her siblings' welfare. Because of her own fight with cancer, Mary was able to help me understand what Mom was going thru 2012. And Laura stayed with Mom during her final days in Idaho and was there for Mom fought her battle in Washington. Laura took my place as the assigned caregiver. Mary eased my guilt by telling me that Laura was about the only sibling who was in a position to be Mom's caregiver.  Both Mary and I work full-time.
Yes, I am in debt to my sisters, who have been a mom to me throughout my life. It was Mary who talk me to pray. It was Laura who at six months, taught me about courage as she fought for her life.
And I am even in greater debt to our mom who showed us the way. Thanks, Mom for everything you have done for us, your children, your family and countless others. Your legacy will live on by those you touched.

Two Brothers

My dad, Lafe and my Uncle Kelland were the youngest of five children. It wasn't until they were both gone from this world that I realized the love they had for each other. Probably the biggest example of that love was in the children who carried on that legacy. I don't think my siblings and I would have the relationships with my cousins that we do if my dad and my uncle hadn't been best friends.
Uncle Kelland's family lived in Blackfoot, Idaho for a time while I growing up. While Dad visited with his brother, we would hang out with our cousins, whether it was Blackfoot or Paul, Idaho. Often my uncle and my dad would turn to each other when help was needed. This was probably my first impression of the brotherly love that they had for each other.

Just after my brother, Jay and I bought a condo, Mom brought down some old family photos. Instead of taking them off her hands, I scanned them into the computer and eventually a flash drive. There was picture or two of Uncle Kelland's family at our place and some of my siblings with our cousins before my attended college in Idaho. (Uncle Kelland's family moved back to Manassa, Colorado before I finished grade school.) Even without internet access, my uncle and my dad remained close.

And I see that same effort in us, their children. We have connected on Facebook, even with my dad's sisters' children. From time to time, John, Jay and I will meet with our cousins who live in the Salt Lake Valley for a Sunday dinner or dine out at nearby restaurant. For awhile, John, Jay and I would travel to Manti to see the pageant. We would spend the night with Lannette. And  when there is a wedding or family event, we get together.

And it is because of the example that our fathers set for us. We reach out to each other because they did.

Reflections on Facebook's Birthday

Facebook is 10 years old. I'm not even sure that I knew the term "social media" in 2004. Sure I emailed and surf the internet and I maybe heard of MySpace. As I reflect back on 10 years since Facebook was around, I realize the changes that I have made.
In 2004, I was already going thru a big change. The division I worked for at Regence Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Utah was down-sizing and I was apart of the down-sizing. It was year from hell, but when I think of 2004, what I remember the most is a Jackson family reunion. I traveled to southern Colorado with my brothers for a family reunion with some of my cousins, which was actually a Jackson brothers reunion. I saw kindness. Tyler, Emmalee's son was hung out with my nephews, Spencer and Brennan, who were younger than him. Coach Jackson got quite a few to run in the Manassa 5k. Pioneer Day was being celebrated in Manassa, almost like it was in Utah. William took us on Jackson Family history tour. I got to see the places my great grandparents and grandparents lived and worked. That Saturday night, we watched the Manassa fireworks from my aunt's backyard. And before I left that weekend, I discovered that my dad wasn't all English-American. Like his siblings, he passed on a French heritage and I found out why my Grandpa Jackson was Lafayette. Although Lafayette's mother was born in England, she was still proud of her French heritage. And I am too.
Since 2004, I have experienced joys and sorrows. Shortly after the new year (2005) started, I walked out of Blue Cross one final time as an employee. Just before April's Fools day, I entered full time employment at the University of Utah. I had worked as an usher at the football games since 2002. I felt as if I come full circle. Not because I had been a student, but because thru the University of Utah's career center, I found my job at Blue Cross in 1985. And because Blue Cross asked for volunteers for the Utes' Fan Fest, I was invited by Ray, a usher for the football games to come work at University of Utah as a seasonal employee. Funny how things work out.
I joined Facebook in 2008, thanks to an invite from my Janette, a former co-worker of mine at Blue Cross. My nephew, Brian was among my first four Facebook friends. Another was my co-worker, Penny. Soon I found myself connecting to roommates from college and my young adult days. Former and current co-workers became Facebook friends. I rediscovered high school classmates. And even found more cousins on Facebook. Mostly Jackson's, but some Boices too. And when my Mom passed away in 2012, I found support from my Facebook friends. Your kind words got me thru a difficult time. And I can't forget the prayers that my Facebook friends said in my behalf during the years. We really do need each other.
As I watched the "Look back" videos on Facebook, I was touched. I posted "I look at the Facebook movies that were made by my friends. I see the joys, the sorrows. And I realize how much we have all been blessed." Friends got married, had children, shared their struggles, got jobs, went and came home on LDS missions and posted pictures. Some made me laugh, some made me cried, some just made me smile. And I realized, I've been blessed and my friends too. Thank you, Facebook for being there 10 years.

The Joys of Sisterhood (or the joke’s on me)

My oldest sister, Mary took German while she was in high school, which was one of the three foreign languages taught at Minico.  Once after she told me to say “Ich bin krank”, I asked her what it meant. She said it meant that my sister was sick. So being the smarty pants I thought I was; I taunted my younger with the phrase “Ich bin krank.”  Laura, being the youngest of us all, took a lot a grief from us. When I got to high school, I decided to follow Mary’s example and take German. Ja! (Spanish, not German.) Within the first month, I discovered that I had been telling Laura that estuve enfermo. Mary!

Translations from Google

Ich bin krank = I am sick (German to English)

Ja! = Yes! (German to English)

Ja! = Ha! (Spanish to English)

Estuve enfermo = I was sick (Spanish to English)

What I learned on Criminal Minds This Past Week

Most Wednesday nights will find me in front of the TV, watching Criminal Minds. Since it was Halloween, it involved a crazed witch hunter. But Criminal Minds also focused on a lesser known holiday – Day of the Dead. Penelope Garcia, a computer geek, who usually stays back in Washington while the BAU (Behavorial Analysis Unit)team goes out into the field, has the team over for a Day of Dead celebration. All the team members have lost a loved one and one by one, the team puts a picture of a loved one on an altar that Garcia had.

On Friday, I was passing through the the University of Utah Union building and I noticed a display of dressed up skeletons on a table; probably Catrinas. That tweaked my interest even more. I had heard of Day of the Dead before, but until Criminal Minds portrayed the event, I paid little attention to it. So I looked up Day of the Dead on Wikipedia, a online encyclopedia. I learned that the holiday has roots in Mexico and it also celebrated in other cultures.

When Jay called from Idaho this weekend, I asked him if he had stopped to the cemetery. Since he hadn’t, I told him a bit about Day of the Dead. The Magic Valley in Idaho has a noticeable Mexican culture, so I figured that cemeteries in the valley would be visited this weekend. When he got to the cemetery, he called and told me that there were some decorations up. He did mention pumpkins on some of the graves. I don’t think all the decorations were for the Day of the Dead.

Although the holiday is over, I thought of who I would have honored on this Day of the Dead. My thoughts turned to my family, just like Garcia did in Criminal Minds. I thought of my parents, but I settled on my cousin, Edward Jackson. He died while I was still in junior high (middle school). I had lost other relatives, but he was first relative that I knew who died. When his family lived in Idaho, our families would visit each other often. Often we would pair up with the cousin who was closest to our age. Lou Jane and I would play with each other and Mary and Emmalee would do the same. Although Edward was the oldest, he would hang out with John, who was Emmalee’s age; while Mike, the oldest child in our family would hang out with Bryant, who was just younger than Mary. Edward and Mike attended Ricks College (now BYU-Idaho) at the same time. One weekend Edward came home with Mike and they hung together. Without his family, I noticed a different side of Edward. He just seemed a bit quieter. He spoke to me like I was a teen-ager instead of a child.  That weekend was the last time I saw Edward. A year later, he was killed in accident in Southern Colorado. I still miss Edward forty plus years later. If I were to visit his grave this year in Manassa, Colorado, I would leave a Dove dark chocolate bar and say thanks for being kind to me that weekend. And then, I would go say Hi to my dad. It’s been awhile since I visited him.

Lighting Up The Night

Last weekend, I flew to Seattle to walk “Light The Night” with my sisters and my nieces. I had done a similar walk years ago in Sugarhouse Park with my work. At that time, I walked for two brothers who had Leukemia. I carried a red balloon in their memory. A few years after I walked in Sugarhouse Park, my Aunt Maevonne got Lymphoma. I looked up other walks in Colorado, but I never walked any in any of the event. I didn’t even bother to register.

When Mom was diagnosed with Lymphoma last year, I looked up the site again. But with stress of losing her, I forgot until after she died. I was at a local fast food restaurant when I saw a flyer for “Light The Night” in Sugarhouse Park. I thought of doing, but then I realized it was too emotional for me to do. So I concentrated on dealing with her estate and set a goal of walking in 2013.

As autumn approached, I realized my goal of doing the walk. But I wasn'tSalt Lake since it isn't an event one does alone. So I checked out other states, even Colorado, before deciding on the Seattle area. I knew I could count on my sisters to support me. So I registered and made reservations with Southwest, who has weekend getaway fares. My sister, Laura formed TeamBoice and soon my sister, Mary signed up. Then Tracina and her family joined in the fund raising efforts.sure if I wanted to do the walk in.

The day of the event was rainy, but then what can you expect of Seattle. Bill, Laura’s husband, drove us there. He checked out the free food while we picked up our t-shirts and lighted balloons. Bill highly recommended the clam chowder, which was very good. Mary got sick, so I picked up her t-shirt and balloon. I thought one of her granddaughters could carry the balloon. Eventually, Tracina and her daughters got to the park. I gave the Bella and MoMo each a balloon, one for each of their grandmas. (Their dad’s mom also has Lymphoma.) It was then that Tracina told us the walk had been canceled. It wasn't the rain, but the wind. We looked over and a large group of walkers were heading out on the trail. Even though the event was canceled, no one discouraged anyone from walking around Green Lake. We walked a short distance and saw some down trees, but none in the path that went around the lake. After we got back, we saw a large group come back. We could see the glow of the lights from the blinking necklaces and some of the lightened balloons. It made me realize that hope can be the light in the midst of darkness. Someday, there will be a cure for cancer.

Before Tracina and her daughters boarded the bus (back to their car), I gave her my balloons (They gave away balloons free after the walk was canceled.) to give her daughter, Vanessa. She had to work and she is quite close to her grandmas. Laura, Bill and I left to see Isaac and his family before we headed home.

Although the walk was canceled, I was glad I flew to Seattle to walk with my sisters. Mom liked it when I walked for the two brothers, one who was her bishop for a short time. She would have liked that we walked for her and her sister, Maevonne. And she would have loved that the Bella and MoMo walked for their paternal grandma too.

Division

About five years ago, I was wandering thru the Campus Store (more commonly known as the Bookstore) at the University of Utah. It was probably late October or early November when I saw a navy blue, white and red flag. No, it wasn’t an American flag, but a rivalry flag. BYU and Utah were evenly represented. I bought it and a matching tumbler. I kept the flag, but I gave the tumbler to my friends, who are also a divided family. Grandma Pugh, who had Alzheimer’s, didn’t like the BYU side of the tumbler like her grandson, Jason did, a staunch BYU fan.

As it got closer to Thanksgiving, I hung up the flag in the unit we live in. Jay, a dyed in the wool BYU fan, didn’t want it on the front door, so I hung in the entry way. I can’t remember who won that year, but if it was 2009, it was BYU. That year, Jay bought me soup and that was more painful than comforting. In our household of two, the loser got the soup or some other comfort food.

After the game, the flag came down and was packed away in the closet until the next year. I am not sure if it came out in 2011, the first year the rivalry moved to September, thanks to BYU going independent and Utah moving to the PAC12. It didn’t come out in 2012 because of our Mom’s illness. I didn’t get into the rivalry like I usually did. My cousin, Coach Jackson did give me some grief on Facebook like he usually does. I was glad for that distraction, even though I wasn’t into it that much. The day before the game, I flew out to Seattle, to be with my Mom once more. But Mom died before I boarded the plane. I had packed my “Utah” clothing, so I was wearing red on game day. Laura had to use Kohl’s coupon, so during the game I was shopping. But my friend in Ogden kept me posted on the score.

Two weeks before the game this year, Coach tagged me in one of his post. Apparently he posted a BYU football photo in my honor. I was back. It wasn’t until I posted a photo I took years ago, that I realized I was enjoying the rivalry again. It felt good. I managed to tag family members on my photo. All were tagged on the top half, except for Steven, my almost twin brother. He attended BYU and Utah, so I did my best to get him in that middle part where it was white. But his name showed up on Utah side with me.

When Coach said something about BYU being on top, I knew I had to get out the camera again. After a few shots, I finally got one that I could post. BYU and Utah were pretty much even in the landscape shot. It was easier getting Steven’s name right smack in the white middle. Of course, Coach noticed and asked why. I gave him some lame excuse, because I wasn’t ready to confess. I added a few more BYU relatives on both of parent’s side of the family. I even posted Jason near the “Y” and two of his sibling in the white middle. Jason’s sister has flip-flopped quite a bit and Jared has been a fan of both teams. And besides, I knew I needed to be the lone Utah fan in the red part of the flag. It was sometime this summer that I realized I am the only one in my family – paternal and maternal – that is not a confirmed BYU fan. I’ve been bleeding red since my return to the Salt Lake Valley many years ago. Even when I didn’t particularly care for the University of Utah, I didn’t cheer for BYU

Even though, the Utah-BYU rivalry is on hiatus for two years, the house is still divided. After all, the two teams will suit up for basketball and other sports. The division will be less intense.

To be continued . . . in 2016.

Being With Mom

Ten years ago today, I was with Mom and her sister in Illinois. We started the day by going to church and then it was on to Carthage. After our tour of the Carthage Jail, we headed headed south and a bit east, then west. It was like an extended ride in the country which was a favorite past time of Mom's. After our trip in the country, we returned to Nauvoo, where we had been staying the few days.

Five years ago during the first week in August, my older sister, Mary visited Idaho. Since she was so close to Utah, Mary decided to pay a visit to Idaho. Mary's best friend from childhood and Mom traveled with her. While in Utah, we decided to ride the Heber Valley Railroad; an old steam engine that ran between Heber City and Bridal Veil Falls in Provo Canyon. Mom mentioned that she rode similar trains as a young career woman from California to Colorado and back quite a few times and probably in Colorado a few times.  Mom rode the in the open air car round trip. She must have remember how stiff the seats were or maybe she liked the breeze. But it was cool to ride on train that Mom rode on as a young person. 

A year ago I took my last plane ride with my Mom.  I arrived at airport to fly alone to Seattle. I was hoping to see Mom one last time before she left this earthly life. But an hour before my flight left, my sister, Laura called to say that Mom was gone. Needless to say, I felt quite alone until I was standing in line. I felt Mom's presence close to me. It was such a comfort to feel of her spirit thru out the flight.

Each September my thoughts will return to the passing of my mother, just like each February when I think of my father. I decided that I would take a ride "in the country" via Frontrunner on September 14th. But it didn't work out that way. Due to poor planning I realized a trip to Provo was out. Frontrunner only runs every hour. I didn't want to wait that long at any station. So I decided to the Trax red line to Daybreak. If memory served me right, there was a sugar factory in West Jordan similar to the one in Paul, Idaho. And then I heard reports that there wasn't anything to view on the red line after it left Fashion Place station. I figured West Jordan and South Jordan would be as rural as I would get in Salt Lake County.

So after I boarded the red line at Murray North station, I was for southwest  part of the county. I got off at Redwood Road station for a break. I realized I was like Mom, who had to take such a break ten years ago. When I got back on, it was announced that the next stop was "Sugar Factory Road".  I didn't get off, but I searched for any remnants of a sugar factory. I didn't see any, but it was nice to know that I remembered correctly. I didn't see much open space until after 4800 West. When the train got to the South Jordan Parkway, I decided to get off instead of continuing on to the end of the line,which was the next stop. I was glad I did. It was probably the most open of all the Trax stations along the red line. I took a picture of the Kennecott mine.

And then I looked east and saw the Oquirrh Temple. Mom would have been pleased to see that. She always loved to see a temple. She always made in a point to go to the Idaho Falls and Boise temples when the Paul 2nd Ward had temple trips. She even made regular trips to the Logan temple with a group of friends. And when the Twin Falls temple opened, her home teacher, Clint Harper took her often.  So I took my cellphone out again and took a few pictures of the temple in the distance. I looked for the Jordan River temple, which can be seen from the Oquirrh Temple, but it was too far away. 

After a few minutes, the train came, probably the same one I had been on when I got at that stop or the one at Redwood Road. Instead of a ride "in the country" I got a ride in "to the country" and I had my trip with Mom. She did ride Trax a few times, but this was probably the first she rode on one of the new cars. Even I though I didn't sense her presence on my little trip, I wouldn't be surprised she joined me on this adventure.