Lessons From Heaven

My mom has been gone for almost five years, but I still feel her influence. She still worries about me and she definitely still loves me. I’m pretty sure that along with my dad, she is watching over me as much as she can. And she is still teaching me the lessons I need to learn.

I felt my mom’s concern a lot two years ago when I began seeing the doctors a bit more than I should. I remember right after my first surgical procedure as I was coming out of anesthesia, I saw in mind a younger mom; she had the same worried look on her face when I was brought into the recovery room at Holy Cross after my ear operation when I was 12. And my mom still worries. I’m convinced that Mom didn’t like me waiting at a cold dark bus stop in the morning. A member of my ward who happens to work at the University of Utah noticed me at the bus stop and at a work meeting for our division. My mom is someone who cares and worries about her children and I am glad that my neighbor listened to the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

One lesson my mom has taught me in the last four years is about forgiveness. Mike has been delusional for some time and still thinks that Mom lives in Washington state. One Labor Day weekend, Jay and I were in Idaho visiting our brother. Mike supposedly spent the whole weekend writing a letter to our mom that we would deliver to her. Our brother was reluctant to let us return to our home and demanded that we stay until he finished the letter (which he hadn’t started).  On our way back to Utah, we stopped at the cemetery for one last visit with Mom. As I knelt by her grave, the thought came to me that my mom had forgiven Mike. Thanks to the promptings of the Holy Ghost I was able to forgive my brother for his weaknesses.   

Probably one of more tender lessons that my mom taught about forgiving was when I had my endoscopy ultrasound in December 2015. My mom had threaten me with ulcers when I was in junior high or high school  because she had them and so did her mom. Being a teenager, I probably gave her the stink eye. After the procedure was done, the doctor stopped in to explain what had happen while I being scoped. The nodule in my stomach was so small that he decided not to remove it. I could sense my mom breathing a sigh of relief. I felt as she had forgiven herself for threatening me.  And I found myself forgiving her for being a bossy mom. Once more without realizing it, I had listened to the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

Maybe the lesson I’ve learned the most from my mom is recognizing the influence of the Holy Ghost in my life. It also the lesson that taken me the longest to recognize. I don’t think I’ve ever asked to feel her presence when I needed it like I do with my dad. It was the Holy Ghost prompting me that my mom was at my side as I boarded the plane one September day. I was at the airport waiting my flight to arrive at the gate when I learned of my mom’s passing. I asked for my dad, but I couldn’t feel his presence. I got a bit ticked off at him because I had felt abandoned. It wasn’t until I had calmed down that I sensed my mom waiting in line with me.
I am grateful that for the lessons that my mom has taught me since her passing. And I am grateful for the gift of the Holy Ghost. As Jesus taught in the Book of John, the Holy Ghost is indeed the comforter.