Retelling of the Other Wiseman

Last year, Jay and I had Christmas Eve dinner at a neighbor's. After dinner, they had a program like my family did on Christmas Eve. Their youngest son shared "The Night Before Christmas" like my brother, John would. Except John read the book while their son had it memorized. When Grandma read a story I was reminded of my mom reading "The Other Wiseman". So from memory I will tell the story. 

As we all know, there were many wisemen from the East, who anxiously seeking the signs of Christ's birth. There was another wiseman, Artaban, who planned to meet up with the other wisemen so they could meet with the Christ child together. Artaban had three jewels that he wanted to give the new born king. 

When Artaban saw the star, he saddle up his camel (or his horse) and set off. Along the way, he came across a traveler who had been robbed. Like a good Samaritan, he stopped and helped the man. Artaban gave the man rest his food meant for the trip. He use the sapphire to pay for food so he could continue his journey to meet with the other three wisemen. Artaban hurried on his way only to find that other wisemen had waited as long as they could and left without him. Artaban traveled alone to Bethlehem, but when he got there, he found out that Joseph and Mary had fled to Egypt with the baby Jesus. In his search for the departed Christ child, Artaban stopped at young mother's home. When the soldiers came to take her toddler away, Artaban gave the soldiers a ruby so that they would not search the home. As he gave away his second jewel, he felt remorse because that was his gift to Christ child.

Artaban left Jerusalem and headed for Egypt. He didn't find Jesus there and eventually he returned to Israel and searched for Jesus there. Artaban sought Jesus for the rest of his life, serving others in their time of need. Finally, he heard that Christ was to be crucified, so Artaban headed back to Jerusalem. On his way to Calvary, Artaban came across a young woman who was being sold into slavery to pay for her father's debts. Artaban took pity on her and gave his last jewel,the pearl to free the young woman from slavery. He immediately felt like he had betrayed Christ. Three times he had given away the gifts he wanted to give to Christ. 

But Christ appeared to Artaban in a vision when a brick from building hit him and quoted Matthew 25:40 - "Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

My Talk at the Care Center

Earlier in the week, the counselor in the bishopric who is charge of Sacrament Meeting talks called and asked if I would give a 5 minute talk at the care center where my brother is a resident.

Gehrig ended his speech with these words after he had been diagnosed with ALS. He was grateful for the experiences he had and the people that he had associated with during his life. Although he had gotten a bad break, he decided to have a cheerful and optimistic attitude. He did as Dieter F. Uchdorf suggested -

I have this to be true as I have passed through challenges and trials. It seems that when I have been the most stressed is when I've noticed the blessings the most. People are willing to keep me in their prayers and thoughts when I have reached out for help. They have listen with their hearts. When I had my first surgical procedure, I forgot to ask for a priesthood blessing. Jay had been Idaho. My procedure was a success thanks to the prayers and thoughts said in my behalf.

In the Colossians 3:17 - 

I chose this scripture to ponder this week. Paul instructed the Colossians and us to give thanks and to remember Christ in all we do and say. We can be thankful in all our circumstances, whether good or bad.

Thomas S. Monson has said - 

In closing, I'd like to read the verses in Psalm 100 -

Although life can be hard, I have a lot to be grateful for.

Day of the Dead - post 3

Jay and I headed to the Magic Valley on Halloween to pick up a few things from the house. Since Day of the Dead follows Halloween, I decided to stop in at Dollar Tree to see what I could decorate Mom’s grave with. There was Halloween stuff, but not any for Day of the Dead. But I did manage to find something. When we got to the cemetery, there were graves decorated with Jack-o-lanterns and the usual flowers. It wasn't like Memorial Day, when cemetery is almost a parking lot or has the feel of a local park.

I took my sack of recent purchases and pulled out the glow stick and attached the butterfly that was included in the package. I don't know if Mom liked butterflies, but when I see something that resembles one, I think of Mom. I'm reminded of her love for me and that she still watches over me.

I wasn't sure if the glow stick would blow away, so I put it back in the bag. I had already stuck some silk flowers in ground, so I took the second group of silk flowers out. I laid those down on the grave stone. Mom's favorite color was yellow and her second favorite was blue. I figured Mom would like these yellow daisies, even though they were fake. Before I left I stuck the flowers in the ground on the opposite side of the grave stone.

Jay and I came back the next day. It was threatening to rain, but I decided to leave the butterfly glow stick on Mom's grave. I found a pumpkin candy bowl in the basement, so I decided to leave it behind while Jay and I went to church. As we were leaving the cemetery, I noticed another family visiting a grave of a loved one. While we were at church, the heavens opened and it rained, but not like it would in Seattle. I thought the bowl would be full, but there wasn't even a quarter inch of water in the bowl. I pulled everything out and stuffed it back in the sack. I hope Mom didn't mine, but I'd like to use the glow stick in next year's Light The Night walk and besides there is Mother's Day and of course, Memorial Day.

A Bittersweet Holiday

Mother's Day has usually been a bittersweet day for me. Not so much when I was in my twenties when I attended various singles ward. I've never married or had children, but I have been a part of children's lives. I have nephews and nieces, some have been adopted by the heart. Usually going to church on Mother's Day hasn't been too bad. I haven't always taken the customary flower or treat. I once passed up some chocolate because a member of the bishopric said there were treats for all the mothers just outside the chapel doors. I think that the bishop's counselor meant well and he was probably thinking "all women" when he said "all mothers". I wasn't the only woman that day who skipped the chocolate. There were a few mothers who did likewise and not because they were allergic to chocolate or on diets.

Some Mother's Days at church have been touching. My first year in a new Ward, one young girl handed me a geranium as I walked out of Relief Society. She didn't know my status and she didn't care if I was a mom or not. She looked at me as she handed me the flower and that meant a lot to me. And last year, one of young girls I taught in Primary was determined to give me a brownie. Just because I was one of her teachers. Just moments before, I saw her determination when she gave a brownie to her next door neighbor.

After my mom passed a few years ago, celebrating Mother's Day became more bittersweet. There was just no way my mom would enjoy any kind of chocolate. Brownies included. I missed giving Mom a gift. So for the first Mother's Day, I did my usual and gave my sisters, biological and heart adopted,  a Mother's Day booklet. It was a tradition I started after I left the single wards. My first year was okay, but the next year I found myself in Primary. As usual, the children were singing a few songs in Sacrament Meeting. One of the songs that was chosen was "Mother, Tell Me A Story" by Janice Kapp Perry. When the children sang "tell me of heaven", I would cry inside. I wished my mom could tell me about heaven. And when we practiced the song this year, I could feel my mom singing the second verse, even though my mouth was singing those words. Like last year, I won't be joining the other Primary teachers on the stand this year. It's still too emotional, but the song is beautiful, so I find myself listening to it on YouTube. "Mother, Tell Me A Story" is a bittersweet comforting lullaby to me. I am reminded of the love that my mom has for me and that through all my trials that I have had since she has left, my mom has been there for me. She watches over me each night as I sleep. 

To Sister Pugh on Easter Sunday

April 20, 2014


Sister Pugh,

I woke up this morning thinking about Easter. Probably because it is Easter and I was giving the lesson in Primary. I posted this on Facebook "As I was resting this morning, I thought of my dad, who must delighted with a full head of hair. I only knew him as bald. And then I thought of my mom, kicking up her high heels because she no longer has to move around in an achy breaky body. Thanks to Jesus Christ, we have the hope of eternal life. Happy Easter!" I did think of my dad's recovering from his hearing loss, but I didn't post that, because I have done that before. (My dad got his hearing back when he died.) But I did comment later about my own hearing loss. When I was four, I had an earache that wasn't attended to. (My parents were poor and we didn't have insurance.) When I think of the resurrection for me, I imagine I will be listening to a symphony of beautiful noises, picking out sounds I have forgotten.
I also thought today of what I wrote on Facebook when my mom passed. "My Mom is well. She is with my Dad once again and having a joyful reunion with her sister, Verla and her parents. She has even met my Grandpa Jackson for the first time. I will miss my Mom, but I have the faith that she is where she needs to be with her family that she hasn't seen for so long. Mom, like my Dad will continue to watch over me. Thank you all for your support and prayers during this ordeal. It has meant a lot. Prayers were answered and will continue to be answered."I actually wrote that Labor Day weekend before she passed. My mom had a rough night that Saturday and I think I knew then that she would not be long with us. When I read that post just now, I got tears again. But I know because of our Savior did, I will see my mom again. She loves me and I am sure that she is like my dad, watching over her children.

Susan

What I Learned During Lent Last Year

April 19, 2014

As I read over the journal I kept for Lent, I realized I learned quite a bit. Some of it was just a repeat, like even though our choices are few we still have choices. It can be hard to forgive ourselves. Staying focused was another lesson learned. But I also learned to look toward the light at the end of tunnel.
When I learned of Lent in high school, I thought it was eating only fish on Friday. One Friday the home-ec teacher fried up some hamburger on a spring day. Two of the girls were Catholic and didn't eat. The teacher apologized. I mistakenly thought that Catholics could only eat fish on Fridays year round. It wasn't until after I had graduated from the U that a co-worker kindly corrected me that it was only during Lent.
I remember once as student at the U that a classmate dropped the f-bomb when he remembered it was Lent. Sometime my classmates told him not give that up. I learned then that during Lent, Catholics gave up something.
Somewhere over the years, I learned that Ash Wednesday started Lent. Probably from my co-worker who taught me about fish on Fridays. But I probably learned first about Ash Wednesday from another co-worker, who attended a Catholic high school in the neighborhood I lived in. Apparently, he and his friends would skip services on Ash Wednesday and walk over to the apartments that I lived in. There was a patch of trees in front of my apartment, where he and his friends would smoke. Before they headed back, they would take the ashes from their cigarettes and make crosses on their foreheads.
As I prepared for Lent, I googled. From my search, I found out that Lent was symbolic of Jesus fasting for 40 days. I learned about Jesus fasting for 40 days in Sunday School and probably Primary. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we usually fast on the first Sunday of each month.  We skip two meals or go without food for 24 hours. It is during those 24 hours that we drawer closer to God. It is what Muslims do when they fast each fall. And it what Catholics and most Protestants religions do each spring. Fasting is a time to draw closer to God and to be more focused by not being distracted by the cars of the world.

Toward the end of my Mormon version of Lent,  (I didn't fast on Ash Wednesday or eat only fish on Fridays.) I thought of sacrifice. Just before Lent, I went to Seattle area to be with my sisters. One day we visited the Brown & Haley's Almond Roca factory store. The cashier told us about the Mountain chocolate bar, which was part of the food rations for soldiers who served in World War II. I was reminded of my dad who served in Alaska during the war. I thought of the sacrifice that my dad made by leaving his widowed mother and his family behind while he served.
I also thought of the sacrifice Jesus made while he fasted for 40 days. Jesus fasted so he could be focused while he prepared for His ministry. It would be hard to fast 40 days. Whether Jesus went entirely without food or water as Mormons do when they fast once a month or as a Muslim would during Ramadan, by eating a meal before sunrise and waiting until sunset to eat the other meal of the day.

But Jesus Christ sacrificed much more when he went into Gethsemane and took upon Himself our sins. He died on the cross for us all and was resurrected on the third day. He suffered, died and was resurrected so we all could have eternal life.

Wise Men Who Seek

Just as the Wise Men of old, who brought their finest gifts for the baby Jesus; there are those who also seek to give to others during the Christmas season. I sometimes wonder if Santa Claus and other similar characters are version of the Wise Men who came from the East thousands of years ago to visit the baby Jesus.

Each year, I will hear of Sub for Santa projects. Malls have been known to do a Angel Tree, where patrons take a paper ornament off the tree and buy item listed for a child in need. Marines have the Toys for Tots drive, where people will bring in unwrapped toys of their choice. The Holladay Library asks for donations of winter hats, scarves, gloves and mittens to decorate the tree in the lobby. KSL has their Quarters for Christmas fund raiser where they buy shoes for children in need. The food banks across the nation begin their annual food drives in November with donations being either cash or food items. Neighbors seem to be more charitable during the holiday season, maybe because of the opportunities to give. Members of my ward were asked to Share The Gift, by serving others. And some, just naturally are willing to give of their time to help another in need. Sometimes the act of kindness is just being aware of someone in need, whether it is a friend, a neighbor or stranger. Wise Men today still seek Jesus by giving of themselves because they care for others.

The Best Christmases

Yes, there is a Santa Claus, but he doesn't live at the North Pole or wear a red suit. One Christmas Eve when I was six or seven, the furnace in our house quit working. I am sure my mom alerted the furnace people, but being a semi-holiday or a busy day, help did not arrive that day. Mom took all five and half of us children into town; not exactly a good idea on one of the busiest shopping days of the year. My dad was probably at work at the sugar factory in Paul or sleeping because he sometimes worked the graveyard shift. My mom was solo as she kept track of five children from the ages of five to twelve. When we got home, Mom may have fed us a meal, but she did put us to bed early that night, because the house was so cold. I remember waking up later and hearing noises in the kitchen. My older sister told me it was Santa and not to peek. When we woke up the next morning to open our presents, the house was nice and warm. I learned later that it wasn't Santa in a red suit, but it was Santa in worker’s uniform who fixed the furnace late on Christmas Eve.

*******

It wasn't Christmas, but at another time of year when a Secret Santa knocked on our doors. The sun had gone down and we were still up, so it wasn't summer. Most of us, who were still living at home, were in the kitchen when we heard a knock on the door. One of my brothers answered the door and no one was there except a box of groceries. My brother didn't see anyone and I’m not sure if a car or truck went by our place before or after the knock. We were so busy talking with each other, that none of heard any noise before the knock. I can’t remember if we were in dire straits or not, because my parents didn't complain about their circumstances. But a neighbor was kind enough to think of our family and make an effort to ease our burdens. It is just the way the people of Paul, Idaho are – always looking out for each other and following our Savior’s example. I don’t think we ever found out who did this kind deed and I am kind of glad I still don’t know who it was. Someone was kind enough to be a Secret Santa when it wasn't the season to be and that is all that matters.

*******

Every morning my first duty of the day was to open the mail. Mostly it was premium checks, because businesses wanted their employees to be covered if they went to the doctor for anything and everything or needed their drugs. One December morning, I came across a letter addressed to Santa. (There was a man named Santa Claus who had a similar PO Box as Blue Cross.) I read it and for some odd reason was touched by it. The 10 year girl didn't want much, just some clothes and a Barbie. I put the letter aside until Ms. Garcia came back to check on me. I showed her the letter, she laughed and then she showed it to Terri, our boss. Eventually, Peggy got a hold of it and like me she was touched by the letter and showed it to her husband, who was the mail room supervisor. He was inspired to contact the young girl’s family. And it was a good thing, because the girl had siblings. While I don’t remember what the family’s circumstances; it wasn't good. Before I knew it, the whole company was involved. Well, those who worked on Parley’s Way. Just before Christmas a big package was sent to Sacramento California. This Sub for Santa even got mentioned by Rolly and Wells in Salt Lake Tribune. (I don’t know how they found out, but someone ratted on us.) So glad that Peggy got a hold of that letter, because it ended being of one of my better Christmases.

*******

My niece loves her Aunties and her Uncles. And her Mom too. I don’t know how we found out how my niece was a recipient of a Sub for Santa project or who took charges. My sister’s youngest granddaughter was still a baby when we decided to do a Sub for Santa, but we all picked a family member of my niece’s. I picked her oldest daughter because I had a dear friend the same age. My dear friend shopped with me at WalMart and even online to find the perfect outfit and shoes for my niece’s daughter. My younger sister picked the middle daughter, because she babysat her grand niece quite a bit. Someone got my niece’s husband and my brother in California got the baby daughter. I’m not even sure who shopped for my niece. But it was probably the best Christmas my siblings and I had in a long time. Instead of drawing names for each other, we drew the names of my niece’s family. Somehow, it made the Christmas season brighter for us. And hopefully, for our niece too.

My Thanksgiving Post 2014

On the first Sunday of November, the Bishop bore his testimony. He spoke of gratitude as an attitude. It is more than being grateful for things. As I thought about what he said I thought how gratitude is thinking of others in a thoughtful way. The attitude of gratitude is noticing the good or searching for the good in life or our trials. It is also being glad for someone when something good happens, especially when the something good isn't happening for us. But I do believe that counting our blessings helps us to have an attitude of gratitude.

And probably realizing as Lou Gehrig did, we always have something to be grateful for. There is always something good going on in our life. As November continued, I found this to be true in my life also. Life hasn't gone as planed and I've had my share of burps, but I have been greatly bless through out my life. It is during the hard times that I have felt the love of my Savior the most. And have noticed the good shining through the stormy clouds.

Day of the Dead Post 2

"I can't believe Kopper died :( I thought for sure he'd hold out until I got home. At least he feels good now, poor dog. I'm really going to miss that mutt, he made everyone feel loved and loved the cabin more than anyone else, besides Dad. Who is mom going to feed all the leftovers to?"

That is how I found out first about Kopper, from a sister missionary's weekly email. Not on Facebook, although I found out there a few moments later. Then a few days later I remembered that this weekend was Day of the Dead. And I thought why not honor Kopper. Dogs are more than pets in quite a few families and Kopper was no exception.

Kopper came to the Pugh's home shortly after Kip, their dog died. This puppy was copper colored, so it was natural that he was given the name "Kopper". 

Kopper had big paws to fill as Kip was a well beloved pet and family member of my adopted family. I'm convinced that Kip was one of Jared's best childhood friends. But years later, Kopper filled those paws well. As Crystal wrote, he made everyone feel they were loved. Even Jason, who commented after he came home from his mission, "I do not like that dog."

Jason came home to a new family pet, who was still a child and not an adult like Kip had been when Jason left on his mission. Kopper was high maintenance his first year. Not only did he chew on shoes, he enjoyed furniture. He even once chewed on one my sandals that I left unattended. If it wasn't for his guard dog abilities, Kopper probably would have  been put up for sale.

But Kopper grew up. As Crystal said, he loved the cabin. He was free to roam like a dog should. He also grew out. Most of the time when I would eat at the Pughs, Kopper would be at my side begging for food. Sometimes I would give him some of what I was eating. Kopper loved whatever (mostly meat) anyone would give him. Once after I had a procedure, Jewel brought me to her home. She fed me apple slices and some of the best chicken. But because I was so weak from the procedure, I could barely eat the apple slices. But Kopper was there by my side to help me eat most of chicken. He did his good deed for the day and didn't let the food go to waste.

But like my mom, Kopper grew old and slowed down in his old age. He lived a good long life. And like Crystal and Jared, he had a place in everyone's heart that knew him. Kopper has gone to heaven. I imagine he is sharing a few tall tales with Kip. But most of all, he is probably roaming free at the cabin and the neighborhoods he lived in. And he is probably still looking out for those he loved. Kopper touched hearts in his own way. Love ya, Kopper. We shall all meet again, you crazy and lovable dog

The Last Gift

I knew before December 2012, that Christmas would be different. My mom had passed away three months before, so I knew it might be tough. I wouldn't be going to JB’s by Temple Square to get her a gift certificate, one less person on my gift list. But I knew things would be okay, because I had made thru many Christmases without my dad.

When we went home for Thanksgiving, Mike had given us a package that had come from National Geographic. Mom would usually give us calendars for Christmas and apparently before she got sick, she ordered our Christmas gifts. There was one for each of her 7 children and a date book that she got for herself.  (I kept the date book for myself, since I forgot to buy one for myself.) There was also a statement for the calendars. So as a final Christmas gift, I sent a check to the National Geographic. Since I was the personal representative for Mom’s estate, I could have used that money, but it didn't seem right.

Mike kept his calendar, so I didn't need to send him one. I went to the bookstore, bought some large padded envelopes and mailed calendars to my siblings who lived in California and Washington. John got his calendar soon after the New Year, because Jay and I left his behind when we visited him on Christmas day. It meant something to me to carry out Mom’s final wish; that we all got a gift from her on Christmas day. I was grateful that she was shopping for Christmas in July.

A week or so before Christmas, Laura got a request from Mike. He wanted a calendar for Christmas, something like what Mom would give him. I think she had already sent Mike something, so she sent an email out and asked if one of us would grant Mike's wish. So one day, I went to the bookstore on campus, bought him a calendar. It wasn't a National Geographic, but a Sierra Club wall calendar. Then I bought a large padded envelope like I did the year before and mailed it off.

I miss those calendars just like Mike. But I am grateful that Mom thought of us each Christmas. The calendars weren't much, but I believe that my mom gave all that she could to us for Christmas. Mom was a widow for 32 years and basically made ends meet on my dad’s social security payments. I will always remember her final Christmas gift to us. Even though, she was suffering that summer, she still thought of us. Thank you, Mom for loving me, Dad, my siblings and all of your grandchildren.

November on Facebook

Someone on Facebook must have posted a 30 day challenge in which people would express their gratitude daily. I saw a few doing this and I thought why not. So I posted each day, starting on a Sunday and ended 28 days later on the 30th. This was my list.

November 2, 2013

Quote by Marcus Tullius Cicero

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others."

Quote by Gordon B. Hinckley

"Gratitude is a sign of maturity...Where there is appreciation: there is also courtesy and concern for the rights and property of others."

November 3, 2013 Today, I looked out the window and saw that the sun had come to visit. This was a pleasant surprise because it was snowing earlier that morning. Don't worry, the snow didn't stick to the ground, so driving was okay. That is my gratitude quote for today.

November 4, 2013 As I was getting ready this morning at work, I thought briefly of things I didn’t have growing up or what I don’t have now. But instead of being depressed, I realized how blessed I was. My parents struggled to make ends meet, but never did or my siblings felt deprived or less than others because Santa didn’t bring us much for Christmas. I live in a economically diverse ward (LDS neighborhood congregation) that also has different kinds of families. But I don’t feel like an outsider because I make less than I did 10 years ago or because I don’t have children. My parents taught by example – They didn’t act like have-nots and that helped me realized I am blessed. I have a roof over my head, I have a job. I have friends; I have family. I am blessed and for that I am grateful

November 5, 2013 one of the things I like best about the time change; enjoying the sun set while I am still on campus

It's the 1st Tuesday of November, so I am grateful to be able to vote. (It was a city election)

November 6, 2013 Today is a friend's birthday, who has moved on. I miss her, but hey, she is in a better place now; not suffering, but watching over loved ones. I am grateful for getting to know her better after we both left the insurance company we worked for. I am grateful for that second chance. She really was a good and kind person.

November 7, 2013 so grateful for those who have forgiven me for being a human. It is such a healing process for me to know there are second chances.

November 8, 2013 Tonight I am grateful for weekends. We all need a break from work.

November 9, 2013 Grateful for the kindness of others.

November 10, 2013 I am grateful for the diversity in my extended family. I have been taught tolerance, understanding and acceptance.

Quote by John F. Kennedy

"We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives."

November 11, 2013 Thanks to all the vets! That includes Joe.
I forgot to thank one vet and that is my dad. He served in Alaska during World War II. Years ago, his sister, Isabelle sent his letters to me. I didn't learn much of what went on in Alaska, but it was nice to read his letters. As a result of serving in cold Alaska, my dad lost his hearing. He taught me compassion. Thank you, Hyrum Lafayette Jackson for serving our country and for the sacrifices you made.

November 12, 2013 Tonight I went to the church to help tie some fleece blankets for the Granite Foundation with some other women in my ward. One of the blankets I tied was a purple print fleece. It reminded me of my nieces. Someone in their ward or stake did a Sub for Santa one year for them. And then I remember someone leaving a box of food at our door. All we knew that it was anonymous neighbor because by the time we answer the door, the person was gone. I am glad for those serve their fellow man because as it says in the scriptures when you serve others, you serve God.

November 13, 2013 Grateful for little Sister Pugh. She isn't afraid to say what needs to be said or do what is needed.

November 14, 2013 I'm thankful for the example my parents set for me. Live simply, give and be content with what I have.

Today I was able to notice the clouds and sun setting as I walked to the bus. The haze has blocked the view that last 2 days. So grateful for clear colorful skies.

November 15, 2013 I am thankful for sunsets and sunrise. I am reminded to see the beauty in life and to take the time to pause.

I'm grateful for music. It has comforted me; has been an inspiration. It has offered me smiles and opportunities to ponder.

November 16, 2013 "Because I've Been Given Much" is one of my favorite hymns. I am reminded of how blessed I am and as the hymn says "I too must give". In July 1993, Jay and I were evacuated from our apartment complex because heavy rains leaking through some roofs that were under construction. My friend, Jewel Pugh let us stay with her family until we found another place to live, despite that her kitchen was being remodeled. Because of that act of kindness, I found the need to pay it forward. Her children, including Crystal who was a year away from making her earthly debut at the time of my homelessness, got quite a few Happy Meals from McDonalds and dinners at Cafe Rio and Panda Express. But I also found myself donating to food drive, giving to Red Cross and Road Home. When I started working at the University of Utah, I noticed that the Campus Store (aka Book Store) did a Utah Food Bank drive. So every time, I visit Ralph (or one of his co-workers) during November I fill out a red & white donation post card. I usually write someone's else name. Like a co-worker who is on maternity leave and even got a former U.S. president yesterday. (Someone else used "George Clooney"). It is something I have to do because others have taken care of me when I needed it.

November 17, 2013 I can't really think of one single thing that I can put in words that I am grateful for today. So I will just post that I am thankful for what I have, which is a lot when it gets right down to it.

November 18, 2013 When I got off the bus one morning last week, a woman asked where the other person was. I said I hadn't seen her all week. She then mentioned that other person seemed so sad all the time. She did mention that life elsewhere can be worse than what her life is. I said that is so true. As we went our separate ways, I realized I was grateful for gratitude and that I was able to portray a positive attitude. My mother showed me by her quiet example to focus on what I had and not what I didn't have. I don't know why the other person seldom smiles; I felt sad that her countenance gives people the wrong impression. Like her, I don't how my countenance affects others, but I am glad that others notice a cheerful outlook even when I'm not fully awake. I think that having a grateful attitude makes a difference. And this morning as I got my breakfast at the Union. When I saw the other person, she smiled back. Maybe she is just as asleep as me or maybe she just needs a smile every now and then.

I like the gratitude posts I see on Facebook. It is inspiring and uplifting. Thanks to whoever started it.

Quote by Deitrich Bonhoeffer

"In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich."

Quote by Kahill Gibran

"You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance."

Woke up, couldn't find my other shoe until the last moment. Made it to the bus stop in time. Got on the bus and it tried to die. But after 10 minutes, the driver revived it. While I sat on the bus with others, I asked myself if it would be a bad day. Then I remember the cliche "Never judge a day by the morning." The alarm kept going off on the bus, indicating the bus still had issues as it continued on the route. Thanks to the freeway portion on the route, I got to campus at 7:30. I still had time to get breakfast at the Union. Despite the rough start, my day was okay. So glad I had that cliche to set me straight. "Never judge a day by the morning." — feeling good.

I like the gratitude posts I see on Facebook. It is inspiring and uplifting. Thanks to whoever started it.

November 19, 2013 I'm so lucky. I have a tendency to spoil my nieces and nephews and it has gotten worse as I aged. But despite it all, Tracina has never shown an attitude because I gave more to her daughters or brothers than her. I think she realizes that my income increased after I finished college. Thanks, Tracina for being understanding and not judging me.

November 20, 2013 I'm thankful for Popcorn Wednesday!

November 21, 2013 Thankful for a warm home tonight.

I am thankful I got home safely tonight. The route I took home tonight goes past the mouth of Parleys Canyon where the wind likes to get a bit nasty at times. It was blowing pretty hard while I was waiting for the bus, so I am glad the wind didn't run the bus off the road in that area.

November 22, 2013 I'm grateful for gentlemen and tender mercies. I got on Trax and the seats disappeared quickly. Because I have poor sense of balance, I need to sit or stand against a wall when in a moving vehicle or elevator. As I got to a spot to stand, a middle aged man tapped me and offered me his seat. Then when we got to Courthouse stop, another man offered his seat to an older woman who had just got on. Yes, women, there are still gentlemen in the world.

November 23, 2013 Grateful for a warm bed.

And I forgot the blankets that my sisters gave me and the quilt my mom made me.

November 24, 2013 I'm grateful for the little miracles that happen daily and God hears the desires of my heart.

Usually on a Sunday morning, I pack lotion in my scripture bag when I go to church. But because it was Stake Conference, I took my iPad. It has another set of scriptures, a hymn book and a note app. My iPad bag had just enough room for my cellphone, keys and a small package of tissues. Before the meeting started, I had to visit the ladies' room. As I washed hands, I noticed they seem dry. I realized that by washing again, my hands would be more dry. I thought I would have to wear my gloves to combat the comfortableness. But I never got my gloves out of my coat pocket. As the meeting was ending two hours later, I realized my hands did not feel dry. It was a small miracle and I realized again that God does hear the desires of our hearts.

November 25, 2013 Grateful for my family who has a sense of humor. Blame it my parents and those who are related to them. Laughter is a good thing.

My cousins, David Jackson, Shiloh Jackson and Gayle Jackson were the inspiration for this. Thanks, guys, you saved my Monday.

November 26, 2013

Quote by Eckhart Tolle

"Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance."

Grateful for the times that my brother can be sane, understanding and whatever else a normal person is like. I never know what to expect when he calls or when I visit, but glad when he can be kind.

November 27, 2013 So glad for UTA. Thanks to them, I got to see the eye doc, pay a short visit to the vampire and even shopped at Walgreen's for toothbrushes and toothpaste. (Vampire was at lunch when I arrived to have some lab work done)

November 28, 2013 “There are none so impoverished as those who do not acknowledge the abundance of their lives.” Richard Paul Evans, A Winter Dream

What are you thankful for? Instead of the usual status question, this is the question that Facebook posed today. I am grateful that my brothers and I had a pleasant visit with my brother in Idaho. Dinner wasn't much, but it was last minute shopping. Having fish fillet from the frozen food section of Walmart is easy to fix. We were able to leave before the sun disappeared, so we got in a short visit with Mom. Before we got to the Idaho-Utah border, I got a picture of the sun setting. The Magic Valley has some of the best sunsets. And I am glad we got back before bedtime. Life is good.

And I am thankful that McDonald's was opened for breakfast on Thanksgiving. It was such a nice little surprise. So glad for little surprises.

Quote by Irving Berlin

"Got no checkbooks, got no banks. Still I'd like to express my thanks - I've got the sun in the mornin' and the moon at night."

November 29, 2013 I am thankful for days off with pay. There are times when I need a guilt-free rest from the stress of being employed.

Quote by Henry B. Eyring

"You could ask yourself, 'How did God Bless me today?' If you do that long enough and with faith, you will find yourself remembering blessings. And sometimes you will have gifts brought to your mind which you failed to notice during the day, but which you will then know were a touch of God’s hand in life.”

November 30, 2013 Grateful for spare change that is not in my purse anymore. McDonald's Ronald McDonald House Charities got all of it on Thursday, except for a dime. Now McDonald's Kleenex box size boxes have that dime and whatever I got since Thursday. Spare change does have it causes

Quote by Habeeb Akande

"Gratitude leads to a good attitude"

What I learned on Criminal Minds This Past Week

Most Wednesday nights will find me in front of the TV, watching Criminal Minds. Since it was Halloween, it involved a crazed witch hunter. But Criminal Minds also focused on a lesser known holiday – Day of the Dead. Penelope Garcia, a computer geek, who usually stays back in Washington while the BAU (Behavorial Analysis Unit)team goes out into the field, has the team over for a Day of Dead celebration. All the team members have lost a loved one and one by one, the team puts a picture of a loved one on an altar that Garcia had.

On Friday, I was passing through the the University of Utah Union building and I noticed a display of dressed up skeletons on a table; probably Catrinas. That tweaked my interest even more. I had heard of Day of the Dead before, but until Criminal Minds portrayed the event, I paid little attention to it. So I looked up Day of the Dead on Wikipedia, a online encyclopedia. I learned that the holiday has roots in Mexico and it also celebrated in other cultures.

When Jay called from Idaho this weekend, I asked him if he had stopped to the cemetery. Since he hadn’t, I told him a bit about Day of the Dead. The Magic Valley in Idaho has a noticeable Mexican culture, so I figured that cemeteries in the valley would be visited this weekend. When he got to the cemetery, he called and told me that there were some decorations up. He did mention pumpkins on some of the graves. I don’t think all the decorations were for the Day of the Dead.

Although the holiday is over, I thought of who I would have honored on this Day of the Dead. My thoughts turned to my family, just like Garcia did in Criminal Minds. I thought of my parents, but I settled on my cousin, Edward Jackson. He died while I was still in junior high (middle school). I had lost other relatives, but he was first relative that I knew who died. When his family lived in Idaho, our families would visit each other often. Often we would pair up with the cousin who was closest to our age. Lou Jane and I would play with each other and Mary and Emmalee would do the same. Although Edward was the oldest, he would hang out with John, who was Emmalee’s age; while Mike, the oldest child in our family would hang out with Bryant, who was just younger than Mary. Edward and Mike attended Ricks College (now BYU-Idaho) at the same time. One weekend Edward came home with Mike and they hung together. Without his family, I noticed a different side of Edward. He just seemed a bit quieter. He spoke to me like I was a teen-ager instead of a child.  That weekend was the last time I saw Edward. A year later, he was killed in accident in Southern Colorado. I still miss Edward forty plus years later. If I were to visit his grave this year in Manassa, Colorado, I would leave a Dove dark chocolate bar and say thanks for being kind to me that weekend. And then, I would go say Hi to my dad. It’s been awhile since I visited him.

Pioneers In Their Own Way

July 24th is a state holiday in Utah. Most business, except for banks and the federal agencies close shop for the day, so that residents can celebrate the Mormon Pioneers entering the Salt Lake Valley. Only the wagon company of Brigham Young entered the valley on July 24th. A few months, another group entered the valley and in the coming years, other companies followed. Some of the companies consisted of handcarts. Most of my ancestors came west with pioneers the traditional, but two of pioneering ancestors came a less traditional way.

Benjamin Jackson left England in 1849. He boarded a ship and wasn't heard until the late 1860's. By then, his wife had given up and decided he was dead, so she married another man. So when Benjamin Jackson found his way to Nephi, he told the story of what happened after he left England. Benjamin crossed the Atlantic Ocean successfully, but while crossing the plain, he joined a group of Forty-Niners and headed to California to search for gold. Maybe he thought it would be a quick way to bring him family to America. Benjamin never wrote his family, probably because he couldn't read and he would have to pay someone to write the letter. Benjamin in his later years moved to Salt Lake City to live with his daughter, Elizabeth. He is buried in the Salt Lake City Cemetery, along with John Taylor, a former president of the LDS Church and other famous Mormons.

Elihu Kisor Ball was living in Russell, Virginia when he joined the LDS Church. On April 15, 1878, Elihu left his native Virginia with a nephew,Balford after a sorrowful farewell for Utah. They traveled first by horseback for the first 30 miles and then walked to Pikeville, Kentucky. Elihu and Balford bought a small flatboat sailed down the Big Sandy River to Louisa, West Virginia to visit with relatives. It was here that Balford got home sick and returned to Virginia. It was the last Elihu saw his nephew. On May 1st, Elihu boarded a streamboat and sailed on the Big Sandy River to Cincinnati, Ohio where he boarded the train to Salt Lake City, Utah. He stayed in Salt Lake until 1880 when he was sent by Brigham Young to help settle the San Luis Valley in southern Colorado.

My Last Gift

On Valentine’s Day 1980, one of the co-workers raved about the giant valentine cookies that were on sale at Albertsons on 200 South (Salt Lake City). I went along to buy my Dad a cookie. A heart failure the weekend before had put him in the hospital. (His first and only stay at the hospital) Now he was home and I was going home the coming weekend to see him. The cookie was covered in pink frosting and had other decorations. That is all I remember of it. I don’t even remember if my Dad ate it or if it got thrown out after I got back to Utah.

I remember dropping off my brother in Provo on Sunday, the 17^th after a two day weekend in Idaho. When I got back to my apartment in Salt Lake City, I called home to let my mom know that John and I made it safely home. I wasn't prepared for the news that I got. Sometime while I was on the road (probably passing Salt Lake as John and I headed toward Provo), my Dad had a heart attack and he died on the way to the hospital in Burley.

(For some reason, I don’t associate Valentine’s Day with the death of my dad, but I do associate President’s Holiday because he died that weekend.)

I think of the last gift I gave my dad and I realize he still gives me gifts, not material of course, but the gifts are of his love. And they aren't on Valentine’s Day, but when I need them the most. I felt his love and support when I had an EKG in February 2004. (The doctor was concerned about a possible heart murmur.) Once when I was sick, I felt his support as I walked to my bed when I started to black out. Recently I felt his comfort one September morning after a tough night. In his own way, he let me know my mom had survived another difficult night.My dad is gone from my earthly life, but he stills loves me.  Yeah, love is eternal. Happy Valentine’s Day, Dad.

A Pioneer Day Weekend

I was walking up the stairs from the laundry room and I could hear the rain. It sounded so good, almost like music to my ears. I was also grateful that I could enjoy the sound. Because there was one Pioneer Day Weekend that I couldn't enjoy the rain. My first reminder of that Pioneer Day Weekend was Sunday as the congregation sang the closing hymn "Come, Come Ye Saints" in Sacrament Meeting. I remembered how I felt when I sung those words in a similar meeting 19 years ago. Two days before that meeting, my brothers and I had been evacuated from my apartment. The roofs of the buildings we being replaced. While the work was being done, Salt Lake County experienced a Seattle rain day. The supervisor made a decision of not allowing the exposed roof to cover with tarp. His reasoning was that the tarp would endanger the walls of the building. When I came home that Friday evening after spending a day at my friend's. There was fire truck in the parking lot. I couldn't smell smoke, but the firemen were checking out the structure of the building. Before long there was a knock at my door and a firefighter was informing me to evacuate. I'm not sure where John was or if he came home during the chaos. All I remember is that I called my friend, Jewel to inform her I was returning to house to spend the night. One does not think, you just do.  July 24th, Pioneer Day in Utah was sunny and so was the next day. I sat in church with John, attending a ward I had never attended before. (I attended a singles ward in the same area.). As we were sing "Come,Come Ye Saints" I thought of the Pioneers when they were evicted from their homes in Nauvoo, Illinois. I understood a bit better what they felt; what it was like for them. They didn't think, they just did. Six or seven months later in 1994 our stake had regional conference in the tabernacle. Again "Come,Come Ye Saints" was sung, but this time, I identified with gratitude of finding a place to live and a place to stay while Jay and I looked for a place. Jewel opened up her home to us for three weeks. Her husband, Chuck was in the remodeling the kitchen.  Although on Sunday when my current ward was singing "Come,Come Ye Saints" I had a hard identifying with eviction that the Pioneers faced, I was reminded of the kind acts that followed the evacuation of the Cherry Hill Apartments. People of the ward that I attended offered thier homes to those who suddenly homeless. The Red Cross looked after us. (Now you know why I don't mind donating to the Red Cross or the Road Home.) Because of Jewel's kindness I now find it necessary to supply food or money when the Utah Food Bank has a fund drive. It is my way of saying thanks. I appreciate the members from my singles ward helping Jay and I move. I think I knew that 24th of July that I wasn't coming back to Cherry Hills. I'm glad that my nephews, Kevin and Jared had the good sense to be born on the 23rd and 24th of July. I can celebrate on those days instead of lamenting. And I am glad that Crystal was born a year later; not only is she a reminder that prayers are answered, but that life goes on. And I enjoy the rain, even when it rains all day. My soul is refreshed. The smell of rain still reminds me of home and how blessed I have been throughout my life.