Remembering Mom

October 16, 2012

Kindness -pay it forward.  This is Tracina my niece being kind to my Mom just after Mom arrived in Washington. I'm pretty sure my Mom set that example for us to follow. And I wouldn't be surprised that my Dad did too. He was a kind soul too.


April 21, 2014

I look at my favorite picture of my mom. She isn't at her most beautiful; heck, she isn't even wearing her teeth and she has plastic tubing across her face. Before my mom got cancer, I doubt she would have allowed Mary to take a picture like that.
What I like most about the picture is her smile. She is happy, even though she is in the hospital fighting cancer. My older sister took the picture a week before she died, when she had a good weekend. Somehow that smile gave me hope that things would be fine.
That is why I keep it where I can look at it everyday. Sometimes I talk to the picture and my mom smiles at everything I say. My mom's smile gives me courage to face the trials; she is laughing when I can't believe my younger sister is a grandma and she listens. Granted it is only a picture, but the pictures tells me that my mom loves me still and the rest of my family too.


June 12, 2014

She is a young girl who grew up to be nice old lady. She had to grow old because there were so many hearts to touch. Because in her twilight years, there were great-grandchildren and neighbors who needed to know of her goodness.


June 14, 2014

My mom taught mostly by example, even though she may not have been aware that she was doing this. My grandpa was spending the summer with my mom when this picture was taken. My grandma had passed shortly after my dad passed and let's face it; he could no longer be on his own, so my mom and her siblings took turns taking care of him, until he was able to go to a care center in the Denver area. When my brother, Mike was no longer able to care of my mom on his own, my youngest sister, Laura came to help him. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, Laura took Mom back to Washington state,where she could take better care of Mom.  It is true that what goes around comes around and in this case, it was a good thing.


June 24, 2014

This picture was taken soon after my mom arrived in Seattle. Steven, my brother flew into Seattle for the weekend. He had been vacationing with his family in St. George. Mary and Laura drove from Idaho (in Mom's car) so they could better provide for my mom. When the weekend was over, Steven drove Mom's car back to Salt Lake. The car has been a resident of Utah since then.

I included this scripture from Joshua, because Mom chose to be strong and of good courage. It had been a Young Women's theme a few years back and I sent my mom a plaque with those words. Taking care of Mike required being strong and being of good courage. 

In the picture, I see my mom's hand reaching for Steven's hand. Even though she was weary from a chemo treatment and traveling, she still cared about her children. Mom knew she wasn't going back to Idaho, but she chose to be grateful, which I think took courage and besides, she was a strong woman to begin with. Mom got this strength and courage from her mom and it helped her in her last days.

July 19, 2014

In 1988, Mom served a church service mission at the the Family History Library. She mostly worked in the Church Office Building east of Temple Square. Originally it was a 6 month service, which ended up being extended to 18 months. For the first six months (give or take a month) I lived with her. Then she moved closer to the Church Office Building and lived with Elizabeth for the remainder of her mission. She and Elizabeth became good friends. Mom even visited upstate New York where Elizabeth lived. Mom seemed to be the happiest while she was serving on her mission. She did enjoy serving and she enjoy doing genealogy work. Mom never did serve another mission because after she left, the church discontinued church service missions. If she wanted to go on another mission; it would have been a regular proselyting mission like John, Steven and Jay did. She would not have had a say in where she served. But she continued doing her family history and helped other do theirs. 

July 24, 2014

Shortly after my parents married, they were the parade marshals for the Pioneer Parade in Manassa, Colorado. When I saw this picture a few years ago, my mom said that my dad wasn't too thrilled about dressing up as Brigham Young. I guess fake beards aren't too comfortable. I don't which wife my mom was suppose to be, but she looks like she is happy to be apart of the parade. Maybe it is because she was honoring her ancestors who crossed the plains for a better life in the west.

July 26, 2014

They are together again. Sisters. I never knew my aunt Verla; she died of polio shortly after my parents were married. I am glad that my mom spoke of her and that my aunts did also. When my mom died, I kept thinking she was the first of her siblings to pass on, but then I remembered Verla. I think my grandma got to hug my mom first, because well, Grandma Boice is a mom. Or maybe it was my dad. You know how husbands are. But I am sure Verla was there along with other loved ones (like my dad's parents) to greet my mom. I am glad my mom had family there when she returned home. 

July 28, 2014

My mom and her sisters at the Vernal Temple. Mom loved going to the temple, especially if included family. She loved her sisters also (and her brothers, too). Mom was always looking out for them and other family members. Even her in-laws. I guess that is why I am accused of thinking of others, my mom set a good example for me to follow.

If you think that is more like a chapel (or church building) than a temple, well, the Vernal Temple used to be the Vernal Tabernacle.

August 17, 2014

Eleven years ago in September I went with my mom and her sister Gladys to Nauvoo, Illinois. We visited museums and such along the way and after we left Nauvoo. My mom was just glad to be along for the ride. The picture above was taken the morning we left Nauvoo for Missouri.

Before we left for the trip, I sent for brochures so I could scout out sites to see. In the brochure for Iowa, I saw something about the Goldenrod School and that it was the birthplace of 4-H. I had to visit this. Mom got some of her children involved in 4-H. Mary learned how to sew; I learned how to bake cookies, cakes, cook outdoor and fix sandwiches. Steven raised sheep for 4-H and he managed to learn to bake chocolate chip cookies. 

In the Nauvoo Visitors Center, there is garden honoring women. In it are several statutes of what women do. I took this picture because I like to learn; something my mom encouraged us to do. All seven of us children have had some post-secondary education. My parents paid for my education and probably my siblings also, which wasn't easy for them as my dad was a farmer. After I got my associate from Ricks College, I moved to Salt Lake. After four years or so of being in the workforce, I desired to return to school. I had problems saving up for tuition, so I asked my widowed mother for help. She was able to help out my first two or three quarters at University of Utah. I think it hurt her to tell me she couldn't help out anymore, even though I was expected to pay her back. Not wanting to quit, I turned to financial aid department to continue my education. Even though she couldn't help me financially for most of education at the U, she still supported me in my quest for a degree.

My mom loved to quilt. She made quilts for my sisters when they got married. She tied quite a few quilts as I was growing up. Mom even managed to make a few quilts for her grandchildren. I eventually did get a quilt of my own. Mom made a quilt for her sister, Maevonne when she got cancer. When Mom got cancer, Maevonne wished that she could have done the same.

I also chose this picture, because Aunt Gladys is helping Mom get around. I appreciate the example that Mom is setting. She was letting her sister be charitable. Mom knew that she couldn't do everything on her own. Sometimes we need help, even if it means swallowing our pride. Mom was being humble.

I think the highlight of visiting Nauvoo was the Fudge Factory. It was so good we went twice. I even sent my nephew, Isaac some fudge from there, because his birthday was the day we left Nauvoo. Mom had the blonde fudge, which she made for us quite a bit growing up. I had one of the chocolate fudges. (Mom also made chocolate fudge.) At the funeral, one of speakers spoke of Mom's love for chocolate. And I had no clue that she loved chocolate as much as I did. It was a pleasant surprise. This past Memorial Day, I bought my brothers a chocolate bar to enjoy while we visited her grave. I hope she didn't mind that we ate chocolate in front of her.

Haun's Mill is important in LDS Church History and my family history I share with my mom. Amanda Barnes Smith is one of our great-grandmas, who lost her first husband at Haun's Mill. I learned of Amanda from my mom and of course, church. Amanda was strong person and her legacy of strength carries on through generations of women who followed her, including my Grandma Boice and my mom. Slade Barnes woman persevere. 

This is the flag that flies at the Harry S. Truman Presidential Library in Independence, Missouri. While touring the library, I learned quite a bit about the events that happened while Mom was a young woman. Even though Mom was staunch Republican, she enjoyed visiting the library of a famous Democrat. I was glad for the example she set that day. Putting aside her difference.

The flag also reminds me how serious Mom took elections. She voted in the primaries and general elections. When I voted in my first primary elections, my mom was there guiding me. No, she didn't tell me how to vote, but she let me know how important it was.

And my mom served her country; not in the armed forces. She would help out neighbors when asked and she gave blood. Volunteering helps keep cost down and sometimes that keeps the taxes we pay less.

This is the Catholic Church in Victoria, Kansas. I am convinced it is as big as the Cathedral of the Madeline in Salt Lake City. This church is known as the Cathedral of the Plains, probably because one can see from the freeway long before the exit for Victoria. When I looked at this picture today, I was reminded of our neighbors who were Catholic and other faiths. Mom didn't let that stop her from be neighborly. Mom was kind to everyone.


September 1, 2014

A few years ago in August, I rode the Heber Valley Railroad with Mom, Mary and Debbie (Mary's childhood best friend). We had the opportunity of riding inside one of the cars or outside in open-air car. Mom opted for outside and stayed there the whole time. She didn't even venture to the dining car. It was a little stuffy inside; I only sat there long enough to have my picture taken. Besides being a little stuffy, the seats weren't that comfortable. Yeah, I don't blame my mom for sitting out in the open air car the whole time. And besides the view was much better.

As the train chugged toward Bridal Veil Falls, we learned that Mom had rode a similar train in Colorado when she grew up. She  also traveled by train from California to Colorado as a young adult; not sure if it was steam engine like the one pictured here. It could have been more like the modern day Amtrak that I rode in the 1980's. It was cool to learn more about Mom's younger days as she didn't talk much about those years while she was alive.

September 4, 2014

My niece, Tracina included this poem in a brochure that she made for Mom's funeral. The words comforted me then and still do. Mom had been suffering for most of the summer; she had been losing weight and plain just not feeling well. About a month before Mom died, she was diagnosed with stage four cancer. She fought the good fight and then God knew she needed rest and she was welcomed home. I miss Mom, but don't want to wish her back to fight that battle.

September 7, 2014

She was being of good cheer. Although I wouldn't be surprised that Marianna was getting rid of some wiggles. I don't think Mom minded that Marianna was trying to bring cheer to a somber crowd. We all need something to smile about and she, Bella and Cielo (Laura's new granddaughter) were doing that- each in their own way.

I like this picture because while Bella and Vanessa are being perfect for the camera, Grandma Jackson and Marinna are chatting away. I like to think that they are bonding; after all they share a name.

September 9, 2014

Jay is wearing a suit. Usually it is a shirt, tie and pants from the suit for church. I don't know about Steven, but John usually wears a suit to church. Maybe it was being a pallbearer that Jay wore a suit, but I also think that Jay was honoring Mom as he pulled his suit jacket outof the closet. All the pallbearers wore their best to show respect to Mom.

September 12, 2014 (a Friday) 

I discovered this quote at the end of a episode of "Criminal Minds". It had bit of a Halloween theme, but it also had a bit of "Day of the Dead" theme. 

I was at the airport that Friday, September 14th, when my sister, Mary called to tell me that Mom has passed. I did my best not to create a scene; but to stay collected. After all, who wants to see someone have a meltdown in such a public and crowded place. As I waited to board, I couldn't understand why I could not feel my dad's presence. I was able to sense his presence before in my times of need. I got a little ticked off at Dad. But then as I stood in line to board the plane, I felt my mom's presence. She was there to comfort me. I sensed her most of the flight, but not when I got to Seattle. I imagine she left me to comfort my brothers in their time of need. And besides, she knew I was in the company of my sisters and their families. 

Death may ended my parents' lives, but it hasn't ended my relationship with them. Everyday as I get ready for work or bed, I see my mom's picture of her smiling and I am comforted. She loves me still, just like my dad does.

Inspired by History

Like most women, I am inspired by the stories that Mom told me of my grandmas. Some of the histories are from relatives. I don’t know who told me of Ann Grimshaw Jackson, but I admire her for getting on a ship and crossing the plains in handcart to settle in Nephi, Utah. Her husband, Benjamin Jackson, left England to pave the way. After he left, she never heard from him for a few decades. So after a few years he left, she took her family and got a ship sailing for America, which stopped in Boston (or New York) to meet with a son, who had come ahead also. Whether the son came with his dad, I am not sure. The son did not want to travel west, so she caught the train heading west, knowing that she would never see her son again. The train stopped in Iowa, where she and other families traveling to Salt Lake prepared for their journey. They were in the Martin Handcart Company that left in July. Ann had a weak heart, so she wasn't able to pull a handcart. That job was left to Samuel, my great-grandpa and another son. I think two of her daughters also pulled a handcart. Ann would walk with her youngest son each day, starting out before the rest of the company and usually coming in after everyone had camped for the night. If you know of LDS church history, you know that since the Martin and Willie Handcart Companies left Iowa in July and were both caught in early winter storms in Wyoming during the month of October. Ann’s family made it to Salt Lake Valley. But her son, Joseph died soon after. Years after she settled in Nephi, her husband, Benjamin came to Utah. It was the first time in a very long time that Ann had heard anything of him. When he got to America, he joined up with some 49er’s.  The lure of gold held the promise of bringing his family to America. I admire the courage Ann Grimshaw Jackson had.

Martha Eliza Philpot Boice traveled in the Willie Handcart Company that was just ahead of the Martin Handcart. Her dad, William Philpot, died somewhere along the Sweetwater River in Wyoming. A few days later, Martha Eliza’s step mom died. Then it was just two teenage sister who made it to the Salt Lake Valley on their own. My Mom once told me that because of the hardships Martha Eliza’s suffered in the early winter storm of 1856, she had problems walking, but she continue on until she reach Salt Lake, where she met Benjamin Boice. I admire the perseverance that Martha Eliza had. 

There is one grandma whose stories I learned from LDS Church history. But of course my Mom let me know I was related to her. Amanda Barnes Smith is well known for happen at Haun’s Mill, Missouri in 1830’s. After her husband and a son had been killed by a mob at the blacksmith shop, she had the faith that another son’s hip would heal after most of it had been shot away. She had him lay still for days when she put an ash mixture into his hip. Recently in the Ensign, the official LDS magazine, I read about her taking her horse back after it had been stolen, probably from someone who had been part of the mob.  She needed the horse to leave Missouri as the Mormons were ordered to leave the state as soon as possible if not sooner. I admire the faith Amanda Barnes Smith had.

I never knew my paternal grandma. Jane Schofield Jackson died shortly after my oldest brother was born. But I have learned of her through various relatives. Jane was widowed when my dad was three years old. She raised a young family by herself and most likely got support from the community that thrived in Manassa, Colorado. I was told that Jane could have lost her family when her husband, Lafayette died of cancer. I admire the strength Jane had to carry on through out a difficult time.

I did get to know my maternal grandma. Mary Slade Boice often visited us in Idaho. Every Christmas she sent her grandchildren homemade popcorn balls. One year, she almost decided not to send the popcorn balls. But she decided that despite the high cost of sugar, her grandchildren deserved a Christmas gift. When her daughter, Betty was dating a young man of Japanese descent, Grandma welcomed Herb Oba with open arms. World War II was still fresh in the minds of many Americans. Grandma also accepted my brother-in-law, Doug Stewart, two oldest children as her own grandchildren. I admire the kindness Mary Slade Boice showed throughout her life.

And then there is my Mom, Mary LaRee Boice Jackson. Mom passed away recently of cancer and as I remember her, I think of all the qualities my Grandmas had. Mom inherited them also, even the traits from her in-laws. Dad’s family was important to her. Like her mother, she also accepted the in-laws as family. Mom drew on strength as she raised her family and took care of my oldest brother in her later years. Mom carried on with faith, preserved through her battle and had the courage to forge ahead throughout her life. Mom is an inspiration to me as I continue throughout life. Mom has taught me to put my trust in the Lord. And I must admit that she learned from my grandmas. We were inspired by our personal histories.

Bee

May 13th - On Sunday, I ended my last blog with one of my Facebook friend's post. She wrote that she had spent the afternoon and would stay overnight with her mother. She ended her Facebook post feeling as if she was in the presence of an angel. On Thursday just before I left for lunch, I dug out my Nook from my bag and logged onto Facebook. My friend's daughter (who is also a Facebook friend) wrote that she already missed Grandma Bee. After greeted with voicemails, I texted Crystal and Darren about the Facebook posting. Darren confirmed that indeed Grandma Bee had passed on when he texted back "Thanks".

May 14th - I could call Crystal and Darren's grandma "Aunt Bee", but that sounds so Andy Taylor. And like Nellie, I heard her often being called "Grandma Bee"; I was adopted by nine of her grandchildren, some of them from their birth. In some ways, Grandma Bee was like "Aunt Bea" on the Andy Griffin Show. TV's Aunt Bea cared and looked after the welfare of her nephew and his motherless son. Grandma Bee cared not only for her family; she also took those she knew under her wings. I once had the honor of taking her to one of Crystal's performances. While I wasn't family, I felt of her love and her care. I spent some time in her home and a favorite gathering place was the kitchen. It didn't matter how many children, grandchildren or guests came, there was room for all. And kindness was always spoken. Although her five children had established homes of their own, I always felt it was still home to them. When I called Jewel on Friday, she informed that her mom had saved money aside so that all her grandchildren could fly home for her funeral. 28 of 30 away from home are benefiting from this act of kindness. The two who can't are on LDS missions and will come home when their two years of service are completed. But I am sure, Elder Pugh and Elder Morris will be there in spirit.

May 18th - Abraham Lincoln's quote about his mother can apply to all moms, but I have to admit it does remind me of Grandma Bee. "All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." And if I had to pick a scripture to describe her, it would be Proverbs 31:10-28. Verse 28 sums it up quite well, "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her." Her children, grandchildren and I hope great-grandchildren are carrying on her legacy of kindness. When I attended Scott and Kristina's wedding reception, I rode with Joy, Jewel's sister and Grandma Bee. When we enter the reception hall, Crystal who was helping out, saw us and made a beeline right for Grandma. As much as Crystal loves her aunts, Grandma Bee is her world. When I sent the Pughs flowers this week, I had written on the tag "Now I know why I called Crystal an angel; she, along with others, was taking lessons from Grandma Bee."

Crystal walked in celebration of Grandma Bee three times at the Salt Lake Race for the Cure. She now runs annually in the Salt Lake Half-marathon with family members. Those who run this event are known to race for a cause or two, just like the Race for the Cure.

My Mom

A few weeks ago, Mom called and told me to get her gift certificates from her favorite restaurant, JB’s. I realized after what Laura,my younger sister's mother-in-law told my older sister, Mary and me that my mom probably didn’t want any more processions, so that is why she got a gift certificate for her 85th birthday. It was something she could use and it wouldn’t create clutter in her home.
This week, one of my Facebook friends posted a picture of her mom as her profile picture. Apparently someone had requested people post their mom’s picture as a way to honor all Moms on Mother’s day. So I changed my profile to a picture of Mom before she met Dad. Soon, my older sister posted a picture of Mom when she was a young mom. Included in the picture was my grandma, my great grandma (which I don’t think I ever met) and Mary as a baby. My mom is really big into four generation pictures. My younger sister, Laura posted a picture of Mom with her son, Skylar. It is kind of cool to see the progression of Mom from a young mom to a great-grandma.
My mom is now single and has been for 30 plus years. And she still plugs away every day, even if she had to slow down quite a bit. Mom has that strength that I am convinced she learned from her mom. When I think of my grandma, I reminded not only of her strength, but her kindness too. I realize what a wonderful legacy I have.

Nellie

Thursday evening, when I got on Facebook, I found out that my sister, Mary’s mother-in-law passed away that morning. I got to meet Nellie a few times and I had heard Mary and Tracina speak of her also. Nellie was a good woman who endured and persevered through her trials. She had a difficult time growing up, but she never let it stop her from being kind. Nellie always thought of others and I have seen that example in her children and her grandchildren. I am glad that she is no longer suffering in this life and that she can now rest peacefully. God didn’t take her trials away, God gave Nellie the strength to carry on and do the things she set out to do. When I thought of Nellie this week, I was reminded of when Paul, the apostle he wrote to Timothy “I have fought a good fight, I have finished [my] course, I have kept the faith:” - 2 Timothy 4:7. When I imagine Nellie arriving in heaven, I picture Christ welcoming her with open arms. Nellie was a good honest Christian woman who kept the light of Christ shining at all times. Her actions testified of it and her posterity carries her legacy forward. I am grateful that I got to know her. Grandma Nellie touched many hearts. (Thanks to Tracina, she will always be Grandma Nellie to me.)I included this picture of Tracie, Nellie’s first granddaughter (and my adopted niece); because it shows a part of the legacy that Nellie has left. This picture was taken at the Belmont Firehouse in Portland OR area. Tracie was a part of the effort to create this statue honoring Firefighters who died September 11, 2001.