Getting the run around

I was sitting at the computer and for some reason, I thought of my parents in my younger years. Whenever I wanted something, I would ask my mom first since she was usually the most available parent. If it was for something that church or school, she would usually grant me permission. After all, who wants to deny a child a field trip during school hours? But if it involved money, my mom's quick response was "Go ask your Father." If dad was in the house, I would promptly ask him and he would usually say "Go ask your Mother." My dad was deaf, so he never heard my mother's response. Then I would go back to my mom and say "Dad says to ask you." I don't know if I was ever smart enough to say "Dad says it's okay.", but I have to admit I really didn't like the run around I would get. Now that I am older (don't know about wiser) I realize my Mom wasn't going to give permission unless my Dad gave his approval first. Although their responses irritated me then, now it just makes me smile when I think of getting the run around my parents. Some one had to keep me in line.

Father’s Day

Father’s Day is a hard holiday for me, but I have to admit it is getting better as the years go by. My Dad passed away in February 1980, so that month is usually difficult for me, especially President’s Day weekend. But at least, with Father’s Day it is only one day. Not much happens at church; compared to Mother’s Day, it is less of a fuss. No flowers, maybe the Primary will have the children make something for their dads and sing during Sacrament Meeting. But if the congregation sings “O My Father”, I might get a bit teary eyed. That hymn was sung at my dad’s funeral. I once remember heading straight to the women’s room when that hymn was the closing song. I thought I had dealt with the death of my dad, but on that day, I realized I hadn’t.
I never really gave my dad a father’s day present. I don’t remember doing anything in Primary (which was held during the week in the 60’s and 70’s). And I don’t remember Arts and Crafts during Sunday school. But there would usually be a Father’s day program during Sunday school opening exercises. (A general meeting before we split up in our individual age based classes.) That was probably the extent of remembering my dad on Father’s day. When I went to college, I do remember buying a box of chocolates and giving it to my dad, when I made a surprise visit home. But I think that was the extent of my gift giving.
When my dad passed away, I realized I no longer had the option of giving him something on Father’s day and that has made Father’s Day hard for me. But over the years, I have learned to cope. Once I sent flowers to my brother, who is a dad to two teen age boys. Last year or maybe it was the year before, I sent flowers to my cousin so he could put the flowers on my dad’s grave. My dad is buried in the San Luis Valley of Colorado, where he grew up.
Even though my dad is gone, I can honor him by remembering the values he passed on and making a good attempt to walk in his footsteps. And when I really stop and think I realize that is something I’ve been doing all along. Something we can all do as we honor our dads on Father’s Day.

A Man I Have Never Met

I never met my paternal grandfather, Lafayette Jackson, but I have witnessed the legacy he left behind. I have seen in it my father and his siblings, my siblings and my cousins. My grandpa died when my dad was three years old, so I never got the chance to know him personally. But from what Aunt Isabelle has told me, I've learned that my grandpa was kind. Although my dad was very young, when he lost his father to cancer, my dad knew that his father loved him. And my dad loved us. My dad was a kind soul, so I know in those three short years, my dad was able to learn a lot from his father. My cousin, William Jackson, set up a blog about my grandparents. It is titled “To my Jane.” http://www.lafayettejanejxn.blogspot.com/ . Although, William hasn’t updated the blog in a year, I find that I learned more about my grandpa, a man I never met, but know.

Remembering the Students of the Tiananmen Square Massacre

On June 4, 1989, the demonstrations ended. Not by choice, but by force. Students in China had been gathering in Tiananmen Square for the past few weeks. They even built a replica of “Statute of Liberty” out of Styrofoam. They wanted democracy; even though they weren’t sure what democracy was. What they knew was it had to better than the government that was in power. Like the Mao and the communists 40 years before, they started their own revolution.
I read about the Chinese students protesting in either Time or Newsweek, whichever magazine I was subscribing to at the time. At the time I was a recent college graduate and I had attended classes with several students from China. Most of them were sponsored by their government, except for Grace. Her family, if I remember right, was paying for her education. From what I read in The Salt Lake Tribune, Grace was helping with demonstrations in China, even though still a student on the campus at University of Utah.
This weekend on Facebook, my cousin, Gary Oba, posted a picture of a sunset in China. He wrote “On June 4, 1989, Chinese soldiers, acting on orders from top leaders, attacked pro-democracy demonstrators in Beijing's Tiananmen Square leaving hundreds dead.” His words reminded me of what happen 22 years ago in China. I responded to his post with the words, “I remember reading about that and the hope and sadness I had. I like the picture you posted.” The hope was for the courage the students took in their attempt to change their world and to make a difference. The sadness was when People’s Liberation Army brought in tanks and such. The students were massacred. The demonstrations were over and the hope of democracy in China was gone. I still remember the picture of a young man standing bravely in front of a tank crawling toward him. He must have known he would die.
Then last night before I crawled into bed, I read on my Nook, the Daybook blog by Steve King. It was titled “Remembering Tiananmen”. Mr. King wrote about the massacre. When I finished reading the article, I found myself wondering if I had attended school with any of the students who were massacred at Tiananmen Square. After 22 years, I still find myself asking China “Why?”

Adventures with a Glue Bottle

While I am church, I can be found in the ward library. It is my calling. This morning, one of the Primary teachers needed some glue sticks, but since another teacher had taken all the glue sticks, she had to opt for regular glue. She picked up the first two bottles and nothing came out, but she did get lucky on her third attempt. So after she left, I grabbed the two glue bottles and a paper clip. I seen this problem earlier when I taught Sunbeams in another ward. After coming home from church, I went thru my emails I had printed and found the one I sent my friend Karie, describing my memorable adventure with a glue bottle during class.

March 8, 2009 "For one of the class activities, we made paper bracelets. And that required glue, which I had brought from home along with the scissors. I started gluing the first bracelet and the glue isn't coming out. So I got rid of the dried glue on the outside of the cap. IT still doesn't come out. I twisted the glue cap close and I am thinking the glue has hardened. I open the bottle. (Not a good thing to do around active three year olds.) The glue looked fine, but it didn't want to come out thru the cap. So I left the cap off and stuck the blade of another pair of scissors. Hey, there is more than one way to get glue out of a bottle. And not once did a Sunbeam spill the glue. They may spilled their water a few times. But not the glue bottle. I call that a miracle. After church, I washed the scissors, I think they still work. I also put the glue bottle cap under the tap. Then I got smart and stuck a q-tip in the insides of the cap. There was hardened glue stuck up there. Now the glue bottle flows freely when I squeeze it."

And yes, after Trish and I poked around and washed the caps of the glue bottles, the glue now flows semi-freely. I hope the glue doesn't hardened again, but if it does, we'll know what to do.

Bee

May 13th - On Sunday, I ended my last blog with one of my Facebook friend's post. She wrote that she had spent the afternoon and would stay overnight with her mother. She ended her Facebook post feeling as if she was in the presence of an angel. On Thursday just before I left for lunch, I dug out my Nook from my bag and logged onto Facebook. My friend's daughter (who is also a Facebook friend) wrote that she already missed Grandma Bee. After greeted with voicemails, I texted Crystal and Darren about the Facebook posting. Darren confirmed that indeed Grandma Bee had passed on when he texted back "Thanks".

May 14th - I could call Crystal and Darren's grandma "Aunt Bee", but that sounds so Andy Taylor. And like Nellie, I heard her often being called "Grandma Bee"; I was adopted by nine of her grandchildren, some of them from their birth. In some ways, Grandma Bee was like "Aunt Bea" on the Andy Griffin Show. TV's Aunt Bea cared and looked after the welfare of her nephew and his motherless son. Grandma Bee cared not only for her family; she also took those she knew under her wings. I once had the honor of taking her to one of Crystal's performances. While I wasn't family, I felt of her love and her care. I spent some time in her home and a favorite gathering place was the kitchen. It didn't matter how many children, grandchildren or guests came, there was room for all. And kindness was always spoken. Although her five children had established homes of their own, I always felt it was still home to them. When I called Jewel on Friday, she informed that her mom had saved money aside so that all her grandchildren could fly home for her funeral. 28 of 30 away from home are benefiting from this act of kindness. The two who can't are on LDS missions and will come home when their two years of service are completed. But I am sure, Elder Pugh and Elder Morris will be there in spirit.

May 18th - Abraham Lincoln's quote about his mother can apply to all moms, but I have to admit it does remind me of Grandma Bee. "All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." And if I had to pick a scripture to describe her, it would be Proverbs 31:10-28. Verse 28 sums it up quite well, "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her." Her children, grandchildren and I hope great-grandchildren are carrying on her legacy of kindness. When I attended Scott and Kristina's wedding reception, I rode with Joy, Jewel's sister and Grandma Bee. When we enter the reception hall, Crystal who was helping out, saw us and made a beeline right for Grandma. As much as Crystal loves her aunts, Grandma Bee is her world. When I sent the Pughs flowers this week, I had written on the tag "Now I know why I called Crystal an angel; she, along with others, was taking lessons from Grandma Bee."

Crystal walked in celebration of Grandma Bee three times at the Salt Lake Race for the Cure. She now runs annually in the Salt Lake Half-marathon with family members. Those who run this event are known to race for a cause or two, just like the Race for the Cure.

Singles Conference @ the Institute

Saturday, I went to Salt Lake Single Adult Conference for the 5th time. The annual conference is sponsored by Holladay Region of LDS Church and held at University of Utah Institute of Religion. This year it was condensed and scaled down from previous years. The keynote speaker,Kevin Eubank of KSL spoke after lunch, followed by three workshop sessions. In previous years, the keynote speaker spoke at nine in the morning, with two workshop sessions following in the morning. A break for lunch, then one last workshop session. Then attendees would participate in a humanitarian project. There was usually an afternoon break, when attendees would leave, but most would come back for a concert and a dance.

I would say the first single conference in 2007 was the biggest. Glenn Beck was the keynote speaker and even married people bought a ticket to hear him. Next year, the keynote speakers were Ricky Schoeder and his wife. They spoke about his conversion. Yes, a former star on NYPD Blue is a Mormon. There was less of a crowd in 2008, probably because married people didn't buy tickets. Peter Vidmar, a former Olympian spoke the next year and then 2010, Gerald Lund, who wrote the LDS historical series "The Work & The Glory". Two years ago, Peter was still doing public speaking and Gerald Lund is probably known nationally in LDS literary circle. His books could be found in library in Kitsap County, Washington. I doubt Kevin Eubank is known outside Utah; he is just a local celebrity who predicts the weather.

As the years have went by, the selection of the workshops has gone down. This year, attendees have a choice of three out five to attend. Last year it was eight or nine. The first three years was probably fifteen or twenty. Maybe it was economy or maybe not. The Provo single conference seems to attract a big crowd each year. But the humanitarian projects have been a staple, although the projects have changed over the years. Right after lunch, the first year, it was tying quilts for the humanitarian center. Even the men got involved with the project. The second year was a walk the Saturday before to raise funds for the American Red Cross. For the third year, it was moved back to the Saturday afternoon of the conference. People put on their work clothes and did yard work at Primary Children's hospital. For the fourth year (and this year), it was kept in house like the first year and soup packets were made for the refugees in the valley.

Starting the second year, a formal dinner was held the night before conference. This year, it was moved to Saturday. No one got an afternoon break or had to leave the conference to enjoy dinner. I have to admit, I liked not having that lull in activities. The usual Saturday night concert replaced the after-dinner Friday nightentertainment. Peter Breinholt entertained conference goers twice. Charley Jenkins came last year and last night, the concert was provided by the Voodoo Orchestra. And of course, a dance and speed dating have followed the concerts. What would a single conference be without those two events.

The single adult conference will always end with a fireside the following Sunday with a General Authority speaking, usually a Seventy. One year, M. Russell Ballard of the Twelve spoke at the Salt Lake Tabernacle. Usually the firesides are at the institute with refreshments following. Refreshments are usually cookies and water to drink, sometime leftover snacks from the dance the night before. This year, the speaker was Kent Richards of the Seventy. If my memory serves me right, he was a bishop in one of the student wards in the 1980's. Elder Richards isn't exactly having a homecoming. The buildings he knew as a bishop have been torn down and replaced with a larger multi-level building with two chapels, a lobby, two gyms and several class rooms.

If there are any misspellings of names, I apologize. If you know the correct spelling, please let me know and I will get the mistake corrected. General Authority in the LDS church are basically the governing body, somewhat like CEO's or board of directors.

Thoughts on Mother's Day

Years ago, I learned in church that Mother’s Day was started by a single woman, who never married or had children. I believe the woman started Mother’s Day as way on honoring not only her mother, but all mothers. Being a single person, who has never married, this meant a lot to me. Even though I have no children, I can celebrate Mother’s day. It isn’t about being honored as a Mom, but taking a day to remember and honor our mothers, giving thanks for a hard job well done.
As I sat in sacrament meeting today, I listened to the graduating high school seniors speak of their moms. They all spoke of how their moms loved them and the impact they have had on their lives. After the church meetings were over, it was tender to see children carrying flowers. I wonder if some moms were presented with multiple flowers, for young children especially like to show their moms gratitude. One boy hid the flower he selected behind his back as he presented it to his mom.
On Facebook, quite a few people were posting their mother’s pictures as their profile picture. Even some the men got into the spirit. Someone on Facebook thought it would be a way to honor all the beautiful mothers. As the week went by, more of my friends posted their mother’s pictures. It was touching to see all the various pictures. One of my Facebook friends who posted her mom’s picture had lost her mother a few years back. It was good to see Sister Walker’s friendly face smiling at me from Facebook. One friend commented that she had spent the afternoon and would stay overnight with her aged mother. She ended her post feeling as if she was in the presence of an angel. I have met Grandma Bea, who is indeed an angel that has cared for and lifted those around her. Her daughters have followed her example and forwarding her legacy to their children and grandchildren. When I think of all the moms I’ve known, one of my favorite quotes from Abraham Lincoln comes to mind.

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother."

My Mom

A few weeks ago, Mom called and told me to get her gift certificates from her favorite restaurant, JB’s. I realized after what Laura,my younger sister's mother-in-law told my older sister, Mary and me that my mom probably didn’t want any more processions, so that is why she got a gift certificate for her 85th birthday. It was something she could use and it wouldn’t create clutter in her home.
This week, one of my Facebook friends posted a picture of her mom as her profile picture. Apparently someone had requested people post their mom’s picture as a way to honor all Moms on Mother’s day. So I changed my profile to a picture of Mom before she met Dad. Soon, my older sister posted a picture of Mom when she was a young mom. Included in the picture was my grandma, my great grandma (which I don’t think I ever met) and Mary as a baby. My mom is really big into four generation pictures. My younger sister, Laura posted a picture of Mom with her son, Skylar. It is kind of cool to see the progression of Mom from a young mom to a great-grandma.
My mom is now single and has been for 30 plus years. And she still plugs away every day, even if she had to slow down quite a bit. Mom has that strength that I am convinced she learned from her mom. When I think of my grandma, I reminded not only of her strength, but her kindness too. I realize what a wonderful legacy I have.