Wall of Shame

I wrote this as an email to family members shortly after I started working for the University of Utah.

April 2005
 At the University of Utah, there is a Wall of Shame. It is front of the Marriott Library and will probably be destroyed tomorrow.  On the wall are words that people have been called, which have shamed them.  The pending destruction of the wall is probably symbolic of getting rid of the words of shame.
I first heard of the Wall of Shame on the news, don't ask me which channel, because I don't remember.  I was out for a walk on my afternoon break when I saw the Wall of Shame in the distance.  So I decided to check it out.  The first word, I saw was "retard".  It reminded me of the time when Crystal was leaving a message on my phone and her brother Darren picked the phone up to make a call.  When Jay and I both listened to the message, we heard "Crystal, you retard."  We both laughed, but even then I suspected Crystal was probably humiliated.  And when I saw the word, I thought of Darren's thoughtless and Crystal's shame.  Crystal is no retard and Darren was impulsive and didn't realized Crystal was leaving a message.  I am thinking that Darren has since repented and hopefully Crystal doesn't call anyone retard.
I read a few more words and phrases.  One phrase caught me by surprise and it brought an unpleasant memory back.  "R U LDS?"  I have had some people ask me if I was LDS; I could tell they were just curious.  Except for one time; it irked me that was from another LDS person who asked if I was active LDS.  After I had answered in the affirmative, she asked who else in the department was active LDS.  And being the fool, I told her that another person was.  Her question blew me away.  She was checking me out.  It wasn't enough to ask about my religion, but how involved I was with it and who else she could talk shop with.  Later this person asked me if I wanted to go to lunch with her.  I turned her down, thinking that the only reason she was asking me was because I was active LDS.  I don't like it when someone discriminates against me for my religion, but I don't when some favors me because of my religion.  It is just isn't right, it is conditional acceptance.
Later this person said to me during an argument, "And to think you're LDS."  Who was she to judge? Because I said earlier that I was active LDS, she was ranking me.  For some time after, I felt so unworthy; I was shamed.  Just because I wasn't a perfect LDS person.  Was she better than my friend and me?  No.
And that is what words of shame do.  They make you feel less than what you really are.  Just because someone calls you Fatso (another word of shame on the Wall.), doesn't mean you are bad or less than worthy.  It is the other person when putting down another person, is acting less than what they should be.  Crystal is bright and thoughtful young lady.  Darren is a humble young man, who shows gratitude.  And me, well, I am still LDS.  But you know what, I am a good person, just like everyone else.
As Reagan said in the 1980's, "Tear down that wall".