Remember

On September 11, 2001, I was at Cottonwood Mall in Holladay doing my usual morning walk before heading to work. As I passed through the food court, the TV was on. I didn't realized it was breaking news, even when a retiree said something to me. I got to my car and listened to my usual radio station, which was also reporting breaking news of the World Trade Center being attacked by airplanes. Later that morning I found out that another airplane flew into the Pentagon. The two towers in Manhattan fell, while the Pentagon had a gaping hole for all of Washington to see. Thousands of people of different nationalities and demographics died that day. Not only did the passengers and crews of the plane die, but people who worked in the buildings, firefighters and police who went to the rescue and probably those who were visiting the buildings. Later in the day, United 93 crashed in Pennsylvania as some brave and courageous passengers took a plane down that terrorists had gained control. It was rumored that the plane was headed toward the White House or Congress.

As I watched the news, I had a impression that I knew someone who perished in these attacks. I  had a cousin who flew for American Airlines, but he was on vacation that day. Still I had that nagging feeling that I knew someone. A day or two later, I found out that my niece, Tracie lost a dear friend in the attack on America. She met Eugene Whalen while she was nanny in New York. Tracie missed her family in Portland and when she came home, Eugene followed. But when the call came to fulfill his dream of being a New York firefighter, he returned home. Eugene's shift had just ended when the call came in to rescue those in the World Trade Center.
I learned that day that not all patriots are in the military. Some wear the uniform of a firefighter or a policeman. Eugene was one who gave his all as were those who were on Flight 93.

As firefighters and other volunteers were clearing and finding people who had perished at Ground Zero, some firemen found an American flag. They found a flag pole and stood it up again. Once more the flag was flying, but this time in the rubble of the World Trade Center. Hope was raising once more that America would heal and move forward.
In the picture, there is a young boy standing at the monument. His father (or mother), who may or may not be in the picture may have brought him to the healing fields. He is like most students in elementary and  middle school who were born after 9/11, so it is important to tell them about what happen 15 years ago when we as nation stood together. As we teach them, hopefully we will remember the courageous people who died to save others. Like Eugene, like Flight 93. And those who survived who saved others from perishing like the men in one of the towers who brought carried a woman in wheel chair down all those stairs and the firemen who flew the flag over Ground Zero.

A Summer Miracle

Twenty plus years ago, Mike quit his job and went on the road. He settled for a time in Henderson, Nevada. After Henderson, he visited with Steven's family in California for a week and supposedly headed north to visit my sisters, but he never got there. For weeks, we did not hear from Mike. I remember having a dream that Mike came home. I wasn't sure what to make of the dream. Shortly after the dream, my brother came home to live with Mom again. He never set foot off the property again, which is why my mom told her home teacher that her oldest son would probably leave the house in a body bag. In all that time, we continued to pray for Mike that his spirit would heal.

Weekend of July 4, 2015

"Be still and know that I am God." These words from Psalm 46:10 kept coming to me during the 4th of July weekend last year. I was with my sisters on the Oregon coast. And I found the words invading my thoughts as July progressed. Why now? I was pretty much back on my feet after a health scare I had a few months earlier. Maybe it was because of my possible food allergies and being scheduled for another procedure in August. Or maybe it was because Laura and her husband brought up the declining health of my oldest brother. As we discussed Mike's current situation, we discussed his need to be removed from the house in Idaho. Laura could tell he wasn't doing well. Either it was her own observation or the regular calls she got from Jay who would often go to Idaho to buy Mike groceries. 

But whatever the reason Psalm 46:10 kept popping into my thoughts, it was reminder to think positive, stay calm and have faith that all would be well as another storm approached.

August 9, 2015

I woke up my usual time and had my liquid breakfast. I told Jay that I would only go to Sacrament meeting since I was prepping for procedures the next morning. As we were listening to Music and the Spoken Word, a call came from Mary that we needed to get to Idaho as soon as possible. Apparently Jay got a scary text from Mike which sounded like he needed emergency care.  John who lives nearby came and picked up Jay and they headed for Idaho. Their mission was to convince Mike to go to the hospital. After they left, I got out one of new coloring books. After looking thru the book "Mantra Mandalas Coloring Pages - Circles of Healing" by Delaina Miller and Kristin Hatch, I selected one that read "All is Well". Before l started coloring I texted Mike to ask him what his favorite colors were. I had decided to color in his honor as I sought comfort. I also thought of my pioneer ancestors who had crossed the plains with the Willie and Martin Handcart Parties. Pioneer Day had been celebrated a few weeks earlier, so the sacrifices that any pioneer had made to come to the Salt Lake Valley was still on my mind. My great grandfather Philpot froze to death somewhere in Wyoming and later his wife passed away also, leaving his daughters, Julie and Martha, my great grandmother, to come to the Salt Lake by themselves. Ann Grimshaw Jackson, another great grandmother had heart problems, so she and her would walk each day as her older children would push the handcarts. Her son, Joseph passed away shortly after arriving in Utah. As I colored I realized that despite the hardships my an ancestors suffered, all had turned well.  I even remember twenty something years ago during Pioneer Weekend when the roof of my apartment building had collapsed and my brothers and I were evacuated. While we hunted for an apartment, my adopted family let us stay with them, even though their kitchen was being remodeled. Remembering these stories reminded me that my siblings and I were not alone and somehow things would be okay. All would be well. 

Later that night my brothers came home safe and sound from their quick trip to Idaho. Mike had decided against going to the hospital, even after Suzie, a RN and LaRue, a CNA begged him to go. But my brothers had both mention that his heart had been soften. Mike admitted his health was failing and that he would need care soon.

August 30-31, 2015

Mike had called earlier to ask Jay to come up to Idaho to move a case of bottled water. Jay wasn't able to drive the almost 200 miles, so he asked LaRue to help out. She went to the house on a Sunday morning, knocked on the door, but Mike couldn't answer the door. He was too weak to get up and she couldn't get in because the door was locked and none of the neighbor's had a key. (Mike strictly forbade any neighbor from having the key because of his delusions.) LaRue called Jay or Mary just after 9am. Jay called the home teachers for a blessing and before I knew it he was heading to Idaho solo. I may have been teaching Primary that Sunday and with school starting at the university I didn't go. Jay arrived safely and got Mike off the floor and on to the cot in the living room. The case of bottled water was moved and both brothers slept in the house that night.

The next morning, the ambulance came because Mike got worse during the night. My brothers stayed at the hospital for a few hours. In the afternoon hours, all my siblings except for Mike had a emergency family council by the way of a conference call. The attorney brought us up to date. Our youngest brother, Jay had been appointed temporally as guardian for our oldest brother, Mike, who was being transported to St. Marks in Utah so he could be closer to family. From the attorney I learned that a high school classmate, RoZan was a nurse was riding with Mike in the ambulance. Another classmate of mine, Jay suggested that Mike listen to Gordon Lightfoot during the long drive. Knowing that two of my former high school classmate were at the hospital in Idaho at the time was a tender mercy for me.

After the conference call, I headed to St. Marks to meet Mike. Jay stayed in Idaho to tie up a few loose ends. I caught the bus and got off at the all too familiar hospital.(I've had a few procedures there.) I went to the ER to wait but was directed to go to the waiting room on the second level, near where I had surgery a few months earlier. I sat near the window where I could look over the hospital entrance, but I never saw the ambulance pull up. While I was waiting, I noticed that one of my neighbors was performing a surgery. It was another tender mercy to know that he was there.  A man from the ER came up to tell me that Mike had arrived and when he was situated in his room, I would be able to visit him.Then I turned my attention toward the entrance of the Critical Care Unit. Not long after, I saw Mike on the stretcher as he was brought into the CCU. I was still waiting when John arrived a half hour later. We both walked to the CCU  and before long we saw Mike. Before we left, my neighbor stopped to talk to me. I choked up when he asked about Mike; how does one explain a 20 plus years nightmare ending as a unexpected miracle. 

After I got home from the hospital, my sister forwarded a text from LaRue. I was touched when I read ". . . Many miracles happened today. Your prayers were felt and answered in many ways. The doctor and the nurse did an amazing job; everything worked together like clockwork. . . The Lord worked trough many people today to make things happened. . . My prayers are with you all as many others here, it was an amazing day of miracles."

"Be still and know that I am God."  
Psalm 46:10

She moms

(The following text is from memory, not word for word)

Me: How are doing? 

Her: Okay, how are you?

Me: Just trying to tell a wannabe cold to take a hike.

Her: Get some rest, take a shower and eat chocolate. :)

Me: Thank you, Dr. Ohana 

I later called Dr. Ohana's mom and told her that she had been a grandma since the age of five. Jewel laughed; she knows her daughter well.

Crystal was recuperating from surgery when I decided to text her. After the text I realized I had been mothered by a newlywed. Do brides become moms once they say "I do"? But on further thought I decided that Crystal had been practicing motherhood since toddlerhood. Once while playing with her baby doll, she asked her mom to babysit while she went shopping. She would usually tenderly and gently hold her baby dolls as if it was a living breathing baby. As Crystal matured, she was always thinking of others. She would bring vacation souvenirs home for family and close friends; no was left behind. When Crystal leaves heart attacks on my door, she includes a few for Jay. Crystal understood the meaning of Ohana before Disney (or was it Warner Brothers) released "Lilo and Snitch".  

Crystal isn't the only Dr. Ohana I've known. I've spent Christmas and Easter's at Jewel, her mom's home. I've been included in extended family events, like Thanksgiving. And my brothers have been invited to farewells and homecomings. Even wedding receptions. A year before Crystal was born, Jay and I had been evacuated from our apartment complex. We stayed with Jewel and her family until we found another place to live. Crystal learned of Ohana through her mother's example.

There is a Dr. Ohana at work, who looks after others in the office. Barb came to Tuition after working at the bookstore. She still includes Alex, a book store employee,  in her circle. Barb has a listening ear even for those which she may disagree with. She has taken a single mom under her wing, adopting her children as her own grandchildren. Barb even provides lunch for my boss, her brother of another mother. Both are from New York and behave like typical siblings. Barb listened to me when I talked of my troubles dealing with a dependent adult sibling and dealing with my mom's estate. She still listens as I struggle to fit in at the workplace. Barb takes the Ohana thing seriously, she is supportive of those she knows,  even through her own trials. 

And then there is my sister, a math major turned substitute teacher. Laura took care of my mom in her final days. She was willing to call the necessary people for me when I was chosen as Mom's personal representative. And now that Jay is our oldest brother's guardian, she calls the necessary people in Utah so that our brother can get the care he needs. She's a Dr. Ohana to more than her husband and children and doesn't let distance get in the way. 

There are plenty of Dr. Ohana's on the world. They aren't always moms, but they are usually aware of the needs of others and doing something about it, even when traveling through their own tribulations. She moms who loves and cares and willing to make a difference without thought of recognition. Dr. Ohana moms with the heart. 

Holy Week, Part Two

EASTER SUNDAY

March 27th

The quote from Clarence W. Hall pretty much sums what Easter is to me. My cousin's daughter posted this to her wall (now timeline) on Facebook some years ago. On Thursday, Jesus introduced the sacrament at the last supper, was betrayed by Judas Iscariot and suffered in Gethsemane for our sins. On Friday, Jesus faced a angry mob and was sentenced to death at biased trial, then died on the cross for us all, so that we could be saved, redeemed and resurrected with the hopes of having eternal life. 

March 23rd
Wednesday evening, I read 4th chapter in "Christ-Centered Easter" so that I could catch up. I read about women who testified of Christ, not just in the Savior's day, but in today's world. The author talked of the women in Serbia who taught their children about Easter while under communist rule. They testified of Christ under trying circumstances. We are all called to be witnesses of Christ, even when it is hard. One way to testify of Christ is to give up something for a greater purpose and to forgive others.
March 24th
As I reading 5th chapter in "Christ-Centered Easter", I thought of my niece Lily, probably because lilies were mentioned as a symbol of believing. Lily's mother was told that she may not have children. So Lily's parents fasted and prayed about having a child and struggled with doubts of having a family of more than two adults. After reading this short chapter, I was glad that Lily had the name she was given. Lily's birth is a miracle. Lily is a reminder to believe, to have faith, to hope and to doubt our doubts.
March 27th
Thomas was one of the Twelve Apostles who saw Christ after he had been resurrected. Since others had testified of the resurrected Christ, he was doubtful that Jesus had returned. Thomas's faith was rewarded when he was able to see Christ and to touch his hand.
On Sunday morning in "The Holy Week", I read that lilies are symbolic of the resurrection because they are buried in the ground during the winter and bloom in the spring. Again I was glad that my niece was given the name of Lily, because she raised a hope in her parents of being a mother and a father.
I also thought of daffodils this morning and how a hope rises in me when I see those yellow blooms. In Utah, they are usually the first blooms of spring after a long, but sometimes bitter winter. When I see the rays of sunshine in the daffodils I know winter is over and spring as unpredictable as it can be is here. Even on snowy day, the sunshine flowers still thrive.

March 25th

After half way through Research Park, I decided to pull out "Christ-Centered Easter". I read about the two men who walked along  the road to Emanus. As they walked, a stranger joined them. And when the men recognized that Jesus was the stranger, he disappeared from their view. Although we can't witness Christ in the flesh, he walks with us. Especially in our more trying times.
March 26th
I came across the poem "Footprints" when my dad died. It was a comfort for me, because I knew I wasn't alone in my suffering. It meant something last year while I was recuperating from surgery. I reminded that the Good Shepherd is mindful of me and still watching over me. In my hardest times, Jesus is carrying me.

March 27th
Christ appear to others, not just to the women at the tomb or the disciples who were traveling along the road to Emmaus or to a doubting, but faithful Thomas, Jesus appeared to Saul when he was headed to Damascus to persecute more Christians. Jesus Christ also appeared to the Nephites and Lamanites in the new world. These early Americans had just endured three days of extreme darkness after experiencing hard core earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, flood and other earthly disturbances. While ministering to his sheep in the Americas, he healed the disabled, victims of the natural disasters and children. In modern days, Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father appeared to Joseph Smith in the Sacred Grove.
March 26th
I finished "Christ-Centered Easter" this morning and read the last chapter just a few minutes ago. After reading it, I realized I was to read this chapter on Easter. I was impressed with the Easter Sermon that she quoted from a dear friend. In this chapter, the author asked us to prepare for Easter and I think that is what Lent and the Holy Week do. And probably why my stake president from years ago gave members of his stake a pamphlet. She also invited the reader to celebrate Easter every day. To be grateful for Christ as done for us.

March 27th

In the 16th chapter of Mark, I learned that Mary Magdalene and another Mary came to the tomb to attend to body of Jesus. Probably to finish what they could not do late Friday afternoon. They were surprised to see the stone rolled away and were probably relieved because they had been concerned about how they would roll it away. When the women saw the empty tomb, their concerns increased. A young man clothed in white told them not to be afraid for Jesus Christ was not here, but had risen. He instructed them to tell the others, particularly the disciples of Christ and Peter. Mary Magdalene and Mary were obedient and testified of the empty tomb after they left.

In the book "The Holy Week for Latter-Day Saint Families", it spoke of the Easter tradition of decorating eggs. Eggs are a symbol of new life, coloring the egg is a symbol of a better life. Sometimes an Easter egg will turn my attention to the Savior during the Sacrament. I reminded of what Jesus Christ did for us in Gethsemane and on the cross. He was resurrected so that we could have a better life; to have eternal life. 

Holy Week, Part One

Years ago, when I lived in another neighborhood, the stake president invited the stake members to learn more about the final week of our Savior. We were given a pamphlet or handout of scriptures to read during the week. It began with Palm Sunday and ended with Easter. There was a scripture and a quote to read each day. On Easter Sunday, we had a short meeting in our individual wards and then the Messiah was performed at the Stake Center. Usually the Messiah is performed at Christmas, but President Scott suggested that Easter might be a better fit for it.
I did keep the pamphlet because I used it a few years later, but in recent years, I have not been able to find it. So when I saw an LDS Living link about how Mormons could celebrate Lent, I took notes. I even manage to buy "Holy Week for LDS Families" by Wendee Wilcox Rosborough from Deseret Books, which was a huge help for me because the link about Lent didn't mention Palm Sunday. I also bought "Christ-Centered Easter" by Emily Belle Freeman, which has given me unexpected insight about some Easter events.

PALM SUNDAY
March 20th,
Today marks the start of Holy Week, the final week of Christ's mortal life. It is Palm Sunday, a day I haven't really taken notice of, probably because it's not really celebrated in Mormon culture. From what I remember, Christ rode in on a donkey and people waved palm leafs as they shouted "Hosanna". Many Christians in the valley celebrate Palm Sunday, but it is rarely mention at LDS meeting.

But today, it was a bit different in Utah. The Provo City Center Temple was dedicated and usual LDS services in Utah were suspended. During a temple dedication, the "Hosanna" shout is done. Although the dedication wasn't apart of a Palm Sunday activity, I felt that in my own way,  I was able to celebrate Jesus's triumphal entry into Jerusalem during the "Hosanna" shout.
After Christ died on the cross in Calvary, he came to the Americas to visit with the Nephites and Lamanites. The people who survived the great earthquake that happen three days earlier shouted "Hosanna".  When the Mormon pioneers entered the Salt Lake Valley in 1847, they shouted "Hosanna".  Hosanna mean "save now, we pay". It is a joyous exclamation. (from "The Holy Week')
March 21st
I realized as I read "Christ-Centered Easter" today, that I was a day late. The author wrote of Lazarus. I had heard of Lazarus before, but I didn't know that this miracle occurred the day before (as quoted in the chapter of John) Christ's triumphal entry into Jerusalem. I do remember it was shortly before his final week.

MONDAY
March 21st
The next day, Jesus came to the temple where he cleansed the temple by chasing out the money changers and other trying to make a profit off the temple attendees. As I read in Matthew 21, I was touched that he also healed the sick. I was reminded of the surgery I had a year ago and another procedure I had earlier that year. I felt clean after the one procedure because what had been bothering my body was gone. I also felt the love of Christ during those first three months of 2015. Christ not only suffered for our sins, but also for our infirmities. Jesus loved us that much. (This was probably in "Holy Week for LDS Families".

TUESDAY & WEDNESDAY
March 22nd.
After I came home from the caucus, I read some of the scriptures that LDS Living link suggested. In Matthew 25, I read about the goats and the sheep. The goats were characterized by those who thought only of themselves and the sheep were those who looked after the welfare of others; those who followed Christ's example.

Reading 40th verse of Matthew 25, I am reminded of how the people of my hometown served my mom as she got older. I also I am reminded of my brother who listen to me when I felt so alone and his willingness to visit me in the hospital after a aborted procedure. I think of my sister who while fighting cancer was always concerned about the welfare of her family members. And then is my adopted niece who was recovering from surgery texting me to get rest and eat chocolate when I complained about a possible cold I wanted to avoid.

HOLY THURSDAY
March 23rd
When I got home I read the Wednesday chapter of "Holy Week for LDS Families". I read about Judas, one of the Twelve Apostles who betrayed Christ in his final week of his mortal ministry. On the cross, Christ forgave Judas and others who betrayed him. I can follow Christ's example and forgive those who I feel have wronged me or don't agree with my views. Forgiveness is a simple act, but one of the hardest act to accomplish.

March 24th
As I read the scriptures I found on LDS Living and Thursday chapter, I remembered the brief discussion I had with my boss, who is a lapsed Catholic. He had problems of why Good Friday was labeled as such when Jesus persecuted, prosecuted and executed that day, but he called the day before as Holy Thursday. I had never heard that term before. Reading the scriptures, I understood better why Catholics would call Thursday holy. Passover is honored, the Last Supper happen and Christ introduced the sacrament. Holy Thursday made sense.

GOOD FRIDAY
March 22nd
On the way home from work, I read the second experience in a "Christ-Centered Easter". Tonight I realize that Jesus suffer also. As he was heading up to the hill where the crucifixion would take place, he felt alone. Until Simon came. I had forgotten about Simon who carried the cross for Jesus for a bit. I vaguely remembered the scene in "The Robe" or some other Easter movie that I saw in seminary where a man takes the cross from Jesus, so he can rest. The chapter talked about how alone Jesus was on that Friday. Pilate had mocked him along with the rest of the crowd. Simon stepped up and bore Christ's burden for a bit. When Jesus came to earth, he suffered pains and illness just like a regular human would.Christ understands what we are going through. Like Simon we can bear each other's burden.
I was reminded of a time when I felt alone. After a sensitive matter had come across my desk years ago, I was told I could not speak of what I witnessed. From that incident, I learned what "being alone" meant. I was surrounded by co-workers and I could say nothing of how I felt about the event that had occurred in the office. Finally one evening, I asked my brother to go walking with me. As we walked up the street, I told him what had happened and how it had affected me. My burden had been lifted.
March 23rd
As I rode the bus home, I read some more in "Christ Centered Easter". It spoke of Joseph, who brought Christ's body to the tomb and Nicodemus, who help prepare Christ's body for burial. Both were to give up (or sacrifice) their roles in Jewish leadership. I never thought of giving up as a sacrifice. I understood Lent a bit better. Two years ago I decided to give up chocolate for Lent. As first it was hard because I not only eat chocolate, I talk chocolate. Maybe it wasn't a typical sacrifice, but I found myself coming closer to Christ. And it helped me in the years to become. In May of last year, I learned I was allergic to potato starch. In November, I learned that I had some other food allergies. Going without chocolate for six taught me I could endure as I had to give up potatoes and other foods.

March 25th

As I read the verses in Matthew 27 and Luke 23 tonight I ponder the speedy trial and the Crucifixion.Jesus forgave those who caused this event to happen and he was willing to what Heavenly Father asked him to do. It could not have been easy to witness those who mocked him. Jesus bore this suffering patiently. Again he set an example for us to follow. Jesus was obedient.

March 26th

Yesterday at lunch, a high school classmate shared this meme on her timeline. My boss had earlier questioned why it was called "Good Friday". This comic strip explained it well. Christ was willing to die for us so that we could have eternal life.

SATURDAY 

March 26th

Before I pulled my body out of bed for the final time, I thought of the Saturday after Good Friday. I don't often realize it was the Sabbath for the Jews, so there probably wasn't a whole lot going. It must have been a quiet day unlike my Saturdays where I am busy running errands and doing things I didn't have time for during the week.

I thought how alone the family and friends of Jesus must have felt. He was crucified the day before and quickly buried because the Sabbath was approaching. There probably had been no time for a funeral, where most of us have our final good-bye before a family member or close friend is laid to rest. I thought of how alone I felt the Sunday morning after my mom's funeral. I was in the back seat traveling back to Salt Lake when I just wanted to reach out to her. I'm thinking that the family and friends of Jesus felt the same.
But for the Pharisees and chief priests, part of the Sabbath day was spent meeting with Pilate. They told him what Jesus had said he would rise on the third. The Pharisees were convinced that the disciples of Christ would come in the middle to the tomb and take Jesus's body away. So Pilate let Pharisees and chief priests place a round stone in front of the tomb.

In the Saturday chapter of "The Holy Week" was suggested that Jesus was teaching to those who passed on without ever having known of him. I imagine Jesus was probably having a reunion of sorts too after Good Friday, just like my loved ones have had with their families. And I think that Jesus was still watching over those that he had just left behind. And the Good Shepherd is still watching over us today

As I was eating breakfast, I read in the Salt Lake Tribune about Elder Mason Wells, a 19 year old missionary from Utah. He was one of the four missionaries injured in the bombing in Brussels this week. I was touched by his testimony that he shared. "I was sitting outside of the airport, sitting in my own blood, and there was a feeling of calm and peace that I had," Wells said. "And it was beyond just physical shock. I attribute that to the presence of God. If there's anything I've learned, it's that if God can hear the prayers that I was giving as I was on that sidewalk lying down, I know that he hears the prayers of everyone." I think how Elder Wells bore witness of Christ in his interview. He was grateful, forgiving and hopeful. A Fox News reporter mentioned that Elder Wells only had four months left on his mission, but he wanted to stay and finish his mission. She was touched by not only his faith, but his willingness to serve our Savior.

Earthbound Angels

What I remember is that it was spring 2000 and I was visiting my adopted family in Midvale. Some of their children and I had just gotten back from road show practice and I  was ready to head to my home myself when suddenly one of the local TV channels was broadcasting breaking news. A shooting had occurred at Chevy's which was two or three blocks away if one cut thru a school yard and a business or two. As we watched the news, we learned that two men had been shot and the man who shot them was still at large. I realized I wasn't going home yet. Jared had left his backpack in a neighbor's backyard. I went with him and an older brother or his dad to look for the backpack. The whole time I prayed that the angels that had been promised to protect me would protect my nephew. (Earlier when I had been set apart as a ward librarian, one of the bishop's counselors had blessed me with protection of angels; that they would watch over me.) My nephew found his backpack and we all headed back to the house, locked the doors and watched the news. Not much later, I decided to head home. It was a school night and I had to go to work the next day (at the insurance company, not the university where I am now). As I left the comfort of the Pugh's home, I begged the Lord to send the angels that been promised to protect me. My faith was shaky. As I headed north on 900 East, I noticed there was a patrol car at the end of a blocked off street. Behind the car was a police officer watching for any activity up that street. I called him my angel in blue and I realized that first responders were angels. Always there looking after us in our time of need.

It wasn't until there was shooting in my neighborhood that I realized that God had heard my plea that spring night in Midvale. That officer I saw that night was the angel God provided me to give me assurance that I would make it home safely to my old neighborhood.  For me, police officers will always be angels in blue.

My Recap at the End of Tragic Day

As the Spoken Word was finishing it's umpteenth broadcast, I heard sirens. I didn't think much of it. A police station is just down the street and a fire station is close by. Then I heard fireworks, which I thought was odd because it wasn't July or New Years. But then maybe the neighbor was celebrating something during the morning hours. It wasn't until I heard a helicopter fly over my neighborhood that I thought something wasn't right in my neighborhood. After looking out by balcony, I got dressed and went outside. I could see a firetruck and a few police cars down the street. It didn't look like a accident, but maybe a domestic violence incident. When I crossed the street to find out if the girl standing in her driveway knew anything, I noticed an accident up the street. I didn't think they were related. After conversing with her about either of us going to church or how to get there, I left and walked down the street where I saw some neighbors who I was more familiar with. When I got there, I saw my visiting teacher and she informed me that there had been a shooting and the bad guy was lying down in the street. Another neighbor who lived on my side of the street said an officer was down. That explained why there were a congregation of cops on my street. I spend another minute with my neighbors and then left to do more preparation for the Primary lesson I planned to give that afternoon. 

After going over my lesson one more time and packing my bag for church, I decided to see if there was any news about what was happening down the street. So I got on the Internet and found out that the accident on the corner and the officer down were related. During this time I texted some of neighbors to warn them not to come down my street when they came to church. After debating how to get there, I found church was canceled. I was relived, but a little stunned. So I remained on Facebook and KUTV link to find out what was happening. About 3pm, Sheriff Winder reported that Officer Barney had passed away and that Officer Richey was improving.  And lockdown had been eased, even though the street was still blocked off.

And this morning, traffic is flowing like normal on my street. One would not know there had been news teams, police and such camped out all the day the day before. Life goes on. 

Let's just say it was a busy year

2015. What a year. I'm grateful to made it through, but I would not want to repeat it. 2015 was a stressful year. But it was also a year that I was greatly blessed.

 As I sat on the bus this morning one last time for the year as it trekked through Research Park, I thought how I had my first procedure that I had the second Friday of then the new year. The night before my procedure I realized I had forgotten to ask Jay for a priesthood blessing before he left for Idaho to attend to our brother's needs. The procedure went well despite an unplanned procedure that had to be performed to do the procedure that was planned. As I was recovering over the weekend, I thought of how my family and friends prayers had been answered. I felt gratitude for those prayers. 

I had another procedure before January was over. Just a few hours before the procedure I found out that I would not be numbed as I had been told by my primary care doctor. Because I would be put to sleep I would not be allowed to leave the hospital without a responsible adult accompanying me home. So much for hopping on the bus for the trip home. I was glad that Jay was readily available. I didn't have to cancel and rescheduled the procedure. 

In February, I had another procedure that was related to the one I had two weeks before. My good friend, Jewel drove me to the hospital and was there when I got the news that the procedure had to be aborted because of a tear in my esophagus. I spent an uneventful night in the hospital. Jay came to visit me and we watched the planes fly in and fly out of the airport. It might have been a bad night, but I was grateful for the view I had. Although it didn't seem that prayers were answered during this procedure, they were. I healed quickly from my ordeal and taught six year olds in Primary the next Sunday. It also wasn't the time to take care of this problem. Sometimes prayers aren't answered in the way we want them, but answered in the way we need them. 

Toward the end of March, I had the big one; the surgery that required a leave of absence from work. The November before my mother died I had a MRI because the doctors were concerned about a mass that had been detected in my body. At that time I had asked my Facebook friends to keep me in their prayers, which at that time prayers were answered. Whatever was bothering my body at the time needed to be put on hold for a few years. God knew that it would have been too much for me to handle recovering from a surgery, coping with my mother's death and working on her estate. When it was time to care of the situation I was able to know. The doctor I went to at that time scheduled the procedure I had that second Friday of the year. Although procedure in Jan didn't take care of the mass that was detected in the MRI I had in 2011, the surgery in March did. Once more I went under and the doctor discovered the mass wasn't what the doctors had originally thought. My appendix also took a hike. The doctor later told me that everything had been caught in time; my appendix had never burst. Some prayers just take time to be answered. 

Shortly after returning back to work, I visited with the doctor who would be taking care of problem with swallowing. The tear in my esophagus happen because my throat had shrunk in size. I also found that I was allergic to potato starch (and later other foods). I also realized that I probably had the same condition that took my mom's life. Before she was diagnosed with cancer, she had problems swallowing. I was glad I had made a decision earlier not to bitter about my mom's death. I found myself fighting away bitterness that wanted to consume me. 

I took the summer off from procedures that required losing consciousness. It was a nice vacation, even when I took an actual vacation. While I was relaxing with my family on the Oregon coast, a verse in Psalms kept sneaking into my thoughts. "Be still and know I'm God".  Not actually sure why I got this prompting in July and not January.

Shortly after I returned back to Utah, my oldest brother's health declined rapidly. Just before my double procedures I had in August, my brothers rushed home to Idaho to convince Mike to go to the hospital. He refused their advise, but a neighbor from home (a CNA) kept checking on Mike. At the end of August, Jay rushed home again and Mike went to the hospital. He ended up being transferred to the same hospital where I had my surgery in March. I left work early to meet Mike when he arrived. While I waited I noticed that one of my neighbors was performing surgery on another patient. Although he wasn't Mike's doctor, it was comforting to know that he was there. Before he left that night, he stopped to talk to John and me. (Jay was still in Idaho tidying up loose ends.)

Mike eventually left the hospital and became a resident in a care center. I had two more procedures for my throat. After the one at the end of November I realized why the procedure I had in February was aborted (beside the fact the food slide got a bit crowded) was that I needed to focused on one health problem at a time. After my procedure in September, I finally took my eye doctor's advice and saw an allergist. I had more food allergies besides potato starch that were probably affecting my condition. Since my appendix was no longer distracting me, so I could now focus more on my throat. 

In December I was able to have the procedure I had aborted in February. It went well. I left the hospital soon after the procedure. The nodule in my stomach that had been discovered in the second procedure in January had not grown or had any activity. I felt my mom's relief when I entered the recovery room. When I was a teenager she had told me in a smart mouth way (moms are human too) that I would get ulcers because she had and so did her mother. Even though my mom was human, I think she could tell then what problems I would have in adulthood and she was trying to warn me.

The day before Thanksgiving I had my annual exam. Since the doctor I saw the year before had closed her business I found another doctor who had her office in the same building as my first procedure. As I left the building, I passed the surgical center doors. I looked quickly and the thought came to me "it could have been worse." I had been fortunate After each procedure and surgery, I heard the word "benign". Cancer was never diagnosed. In fact, blood tests had shown a weak sign for cancer. Prayers had been answered, thoughts were rewarded and love had been sent. Through out the stress I had been blessed much. I just had a busy year, even though the throat doctor said I was having a hard year. My Savior was with me in every step in 2014 and 2015.

(Side note or just a FYI - The only time I was diagnosed as pre-cancerous was at the dermatologist, but after the second office visit she declared my condition as benign. At the end of July, I had another annual exam. The day after I got a call to come in for a second opinion. After a doctor looked at the results of the second exam, she decided I didn't need a biopsy I feared I would need. I was definitely blessed this year. And before I forget Jay did find employment before I had my surgery in March. And Mike's health improved also. He's talking about moving back to Idaho, but he'll probably end up at John's house. 2015 wasn't all doom and gloom. My adopted niece came from her mission and married a few months later. Her best friend older brother also got married, a month after she did. Another nephew became a father to a darling and curious little girl. I celebrated my 10th anniversary of employment at the University of Utah.And I was blessed beyond measure. )

Following the Star

December 24, 2014

I was downtown Salt Lake on Tuesday when I decided to stop by Temple Square. I wanted to see if I could get a picture of the Wise Men who were part of a display outside the North Visitors Center and the Christus who is inside the North Visitors Center. At night, this is possible,but during the day, the buildings on South Temple reflect on the windows where one can see the Christus from the outside. So I decided instead to take a few pictures of the Nativity display which the Wise Men were included.

I saw the stable where Mary, Joseph and Jesus were and a few animals. And I saw the Shepherds with their sheep coming to the stable. On the east side of the display, ahead of the Wise Men were a women and young girl.They were not apart of the Wise Men or the Shepherds, but coming on their own to see Jesus. And it made me think. There were others who came to visit to Jesus. It made sense. Every one saw the unusual star that showed in the sky that night. The Star guided those who were seeking the Christ child.